Tag Archives: working women

by | September 11, 2014 · 5:00 am

Nice Girls

Corner office istock

There are lots of leadership books out there. Every once in a while, one comes along that hits the nail on the head and raises the bar. Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office did that about 10 years ago. This week a great article came out that that outlines a few tips from this classic.

Here’s the article. You’ll like it, and most likely learn something. Pay particular attention to “Mistake No. 1. ” It is one of the most common mistakes I see in my work with executive women. If you haven’t read the book, I highly recommend it!

About Dr. Debra Fish

Dr. Fish is a consulting psychologist whose writing and work focus exclusively on helping individuals and teams lead more effectively. Her firm, Fish Executive Leadership Group, LLC, counts among its clients everything from Fortune 50 corporations to small, privately-held professional service firms.

 Photo credit: istock: BCFC

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by | September 9, 2014 · 5:00 am

The Other Side of the Couch 4: Depression, Untreated, Can Be Fatal

Sad Teenage Girl

About four weeks ago I started taking a medication called a beta blocker.  This medication is taken by many people, and many do well on it, but others do not.  One of the side effects of this medication is depression.  I turned out to be one of those people for whom even a tiny dose of this medication leads to a rapid descent into depression.  I wasn’t sleeping well. I was waking up exhausted;. My appetite was off, and I began to feel hopeless and unmotivated to handle my daily obligations.  I began to cry frequently, and I could not stop thinking about Robin Williams and his sad death.

I am a licensed professional counselor with years of experience in the field and I recognized pretty quickly that these were not normal experiences for me.  I know the difference between being blue and sliding into a major depressive episode and I was on my way to the latter.  I called my doctor, stopped the medication, and almost immediately (within two days) was back to my regular self.  I was still sad about Robin Williams’ tragic death, but I was also able to stop obsessing about it.

Robin’s suicide may have been influenced by a medication that he was prescribed for his early Parkinson’s diagnosis.  Many medications can have these kinds of side effects.  Sometimes depression just happens without any particular cause.  Sometimes prolonged stress can tip one over into a major depressive episode.

Knowing the signs that point to depression can save lives.  If you notice sleep and appetite changes, thinking over and over again about something without being able to let go of it, negative thoughts about yourself, including feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness, fatigue, lack of motivation (that “whatever” feeling), and especially thoughts about death (They would be better off without me; I’ll show them; They’ll miss me when I’m gone) or any kind of thought about planning what you would do to die, SEEK IMMEDIATE HELP.  Depression can be treated, but death cannot.

Depression can manifest in children and adolescents somewhat differently. Often restlessness and irritability are components of this illness in minors.

A great resource for help with depression and other mental illnesses is NAMI.  You can find great information at www.nami.org.  It’s worth reaching out for help, because help is available.  Depression is an illness, just like any other.  Treat it like an illness, and get help.

About Susan Hammonds-White, EdD, LPC/MHSP:

Susan is a communications and relationship specialist, counselor, Imago Relationship Therapist, businesswoman, mother, and proud native Nashvillian. She has been in private practice for over 30 years. As she says, “I have the privilege of helping to mend broken hearts.”

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

 

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by | August 21, 2014 · 5:00 am

Using Pictures In Your Social Media

Collage

If you had the time to count online pictures, you’d find there are over 60 million posted every day on Instagram, and 350 million a day on Facebook!  According to Business Insider, Facebook revealed that its users have uploaded more than 250 billion photos.  To put that into perspective, it would mean that each of Facebook’s 1.15 billion users have uploaded an average of 217 photos apiece!

Why so many pictures? With pictures there are no language or cultural barriers.  They cross all socioeconomic levels. Photos allow us to connect emotionally. Therefore, it is imperative that businesses incorporate visual images in their marketing and public relations strategies. This is what Kristin Steed, Social Media Manager for The Container Store, has to say about Pinterest, “We view Pinterest as a success for giving us high engagement with our boards, ever increasing followers and repins and the sales and traffic it drives online and to our stores.”

Here are a few suggestions to begin integrating pictures into your marketing and public relations strategies:

  1. Show day-to-day images that relate to your company’s business.  If you make wine, post pictures of grape vines in various stages of growth, production process, and wine barrels.
  2. Make it easy for customers to enjoy the content you post.  Multiple clicks are often a turn off for users, keep it to a one or two click minimum.
  3. Cross promote your pictures by using them not only in your social media but also in blog posts, websites, email blasts, and public relations efforts.

The Container Store

The Container Store is the original storage and organization store selling 10,000 products to save customers space and time, with locations across the United States. The retailer includes Pinterest in virtually every element of its marketing mix and in its stores, as the community is the number one social media source of website referral traffic and revenue, while also serving as a place for high brand engagement.

– See more at: http://business.pinterest.com/en/success-stories/container-store#sthash.y5D07yn4.dpuf

Today, the big picture sites are Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook.  Don’t stress about having to go to each site with your posts, there are apps such as HootSuite that manage several sites from one dashboard.  It can be overwhelming trying to determine which social media outlet or outlets to utilize.  Start with the first step – pull out those smart phones and take some pictures!

About Lynne Wilkinson

Lynne is the owner of the marketing and advertising company, The Wilkinson Agency, and ReArranging Spaces, LLC, a residential construction and consulting company.

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by | August 19, 2014 · 5:00 am

Jewelry Basics

One of the questions I get most often is how to put together a basic jewelry wardrobe. Building or updating your jewelry collection doesn’t have to be difficult or expensive. What’s most important is to consider what works with your lifestyle and compliments your personal style; having a jeweler, stylist or friend whose taste you admire and trust also helps. With that in mind, let’s have a look at the basics and some ways to give them a little extra panache.

1. Pearls:  Whether you prefer white, gray or golden, a great strand of pearls is one of the basics you’ll reach for time andPearls on Leaf again. While you don’t have to spend thousands for South Sea or Tahitians like these, quality is important. Unless your profession requires formal business attire on a daily basis (think attorney or financial advisor), I recommend a less serious approach to the traditional strand of pearls. Maybe have your gray pearls knotted on fuchsia or purple silk or have your grandmother’s white pearls wrapped in gold or silver wire (à la Chanel). Either of these is a great way to breathe new life into a time tested classic.

saph neck2. Long Chain Necklace: When your outfit needs a little something extra, a long chain is an easy and elegant way to add some finesse. Chains like the Van Cleef and Arpels Alhambra made famous by Grace Kelly are great because they can work in many ways, depending on the look you’re going for. They can be worn long, can be doubled for a layered look, and can even be wrapped multiple times around the wrist as a bracelet. While an Alhambra necklace isn’t in the budget for most of us, there are plenty of options in a wide range of prices that are just as versatile, easy and fun.  Shown are multicolored sapphires in 18k gold.

3. Turquoise: We all need a splash of color every now and then to spice things up. Turquoise is a perfect choice because it looks great in every season and compliments everyone’s coloring. In fact, makeup artist Bobbi Brown maintains that the best remedy for the dark circles and puffy eyes that come from jet lag and late nights is to wear a turquoise necklace or scarf. If you prefer for something slightly more subtle, opt for turquoise earrings.

4. Hoop earrings: Be it large and bold or small and dainty, a classic hoop is a must in every girl’s bag of tricks. Hoops come in all hoopsdifferent sizes, shapes and dimensions so pick what feels comfortable and works with your budget. The right hoop will show off your style and work with a variety of outfits. They are the perfect “I don’t have to think about it” accessory that you will be sure to go to often. I’ve been wearing these 18k gold and diamond briolette hoops for years and still get compliments on them.

 

Pearl Earrings5. Modern pearl earrings:  A great way to modernize your look is to take a classic pearl earring and add a dash of the unexpected. These earrings can transition into any season and be a piece that will stay in style forever. This pair with diamonds is my current favorite.

6. Bangles: Whether gold or silver, plain or studded with stones, bangles are a staple both timeless and contemporary. Take delicate bangles and stack them with other bracelets to create an urban look that compliments many different outfits.

With these six staple pieces, you’ll have something to wear for any occasion. Remember that jewelry is your chance to show off your personal style. Pick out pieces that reflect who you are. Don’t be afraid to mix and layer them with an unexpected piece to round out an otherwise classic outfit!

All photos copyright Lisa Aronow Atelier.

About Lisa Rose Aronow

Lisa Rose Aronow is a metalsmith and jewelry designer who works with a wide variety of precious and semiprecious stones, high karat gold and sterling silver. Her work can be found at Gus Mayer in Nashville, TN or online at Facebook.com/LisaAronowAtelier.

 

 

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by | August 14, 2014 · 5:00 am

Savvy Leadership: The DIY Way to Learn How Well You Lead

DIY Leadership Evaluation

Are you making the impact you think you are? Do you wonder how people perceive you? As a leader, you’re undoubtedly curious about how you’re doing, and like most people you get feedback on an irregular basis. In fact, you’re lucky if you get useful feedback even once a year.

No need to wonder anxiously until your next performance review; here are 3 easy steps to conduct your own leadership skills evaluation:

1. Set the criteria

What leadership skills does the company expect? Are there competencies outlined for your position? What leadership skills have you heard about that resonate with you? Name the leadership skills you want to strengthen and make sure you have behavioral definitions for each; in other words, specify what those skills look like on the ground, day to day, as you do your job. Make those behaviors both your goals and the criteria against which you’ll ask others to evaluate you.

2. Ask

Stick your neck out and invite people to give you feedback on those behaviors. Be prepared: most people would rather be anonymous, say nothing, or just complain about you in the restroom. Don’t be disappointed if you don’t get much in the beginning, especially from peers and direct reports. Your boss should be able to give you something useful, however, even if he or she is not the best at it. These three tips will help your asking be more fruitful:

  • Give them a heads up. Tell your boss, directs, peers, etc., you’re going to start asking for feedback regularly, tell them why you’re doing it, how you’re going to do it (via email, in person, etc.), and stress how much you appreciate their taking the time to respond. Invite them to be as candid as they feel comfortable, emphasizing how helpful their input will be to making you a better boss/team member/direct report.
  • Be specific. Ask people about one or two particular skills, or ask for feedback on a specific project, or for a specific period of time. A blanket, “How am I doing?” is likely to elicit polite reassurances, which make you feel great, but are not exceedingly helpful.
  • Don’t ask too often. You run the risk of wearing people out or appearing insecure if you ask for feedback every week or every month. Once a quarter should be the absolute maximum. If you like the idea of gathering feedback after every project, formalize that process and make it multi-directional, rather than only encouraging feedback from others to you. (Bonus hint: this is a super way to ensure you will give regular feedback to everyone else as well. It also sets up a feedback-rich culture, which is crucial to good performance.)

3. Thank, Rinse & Repeat

Always thank folks who send feedback your way, even if you didn’t like what they sent. In most cases, they’re taking as much risk in telling you what they think as you are in asking them. The greatest thank you is to let them know how you’re putting their suggestions into practice. Then, when time comes for you to ask for feedback again, they can let you know whether they see a difference.

There are definitely more robust ways to conduct a leadership skills evaluation, usually involving a 360° survey, some other assessments, and maybe an executive coach. If you don’t have access to those the DIY method is a great alternative. Instead of leading in a vacuum, you’ll know more about where you stand.

Lead on!

About Dr. Debra Fish

Dr. Fish is a consulting psychologist whose writing and work focus exclusively on helping individuals and teams lead more effectively. Her firm, Fish Executive Leadership Group, LLC counts among its clients everything from Fortune 50 corporations to small, privately-held professional service firms.

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by | August 12, 2014 · 5:00 am

The Other Side of the Couch: What’s In A Name?

 

Late July and early August in Nashville can be overwhelmingly humid and uncomfortable.  However, yesterday and today have been little glimpses of fall…crisp air, sunshine, and temperatures in the 70s.  How delicious!

Because of this wonderful weather I have been outside more than I normally am (I am one of those Southerners who is overloved by all insects, in particular mosquitoes and chiggers…I can literally walk across a patch of grass and get attacked, while my husband seems to be immune).  In doing so, I have been enjoying the incredible display of a special kind of lily that happens at this time of year.

These lilies have many names.  I have heard them called Surprise Lilies.  Other names that I am now hearing are:  Resurrection Lilies, Pop-up Lilies, and (my favorite) Naked Ladies.  They start out in the spring with a massive amount of greenery, and no blooms.  The greenery dies away, and sometime in late July little buds begin to poke their way through the soil.  Within a day or two they stand up to two feet tall, spilling pink profusion and a sweet , intoxicating aroma into the summer air – an incredible display.  They line my driveway on either side, cascades of pink spilling up and astounding the eye.  My late godmother planted these lilies, and every time they bloom I am reminded of her legacy of beauty.

Surprise lilies – yes, because they are so sudden and so unexpected.  Resurrection lilies – yes, because they appear to have died and disappeared, and then unexpectedly are reborn.  Pop-up lilies – yes, because they literally pop out of the ground; I think that if I were there I could see it happen. Naked Ladies – yes, only a burst of petals topping a long, green stalk…no leaves, no clothes, so to speak.

Names matter.  What we call something has resonance and connects us to a larger world.  I use “surprise lilies” because that is what Marie called them, and by using this particular name I am connected to memories of her and of her special place in my life.  A master gardener, she spent the last twenty years of her life planting perennials and bulbs, creating beauty, and digging in the dirt.  She loved being outside.  I don’t love being outside, but I love the beauty that she created, and I love remembering her when I see her lilies.

Be aware of how you name things, and of how those names can create an entire internal story of remembrance.  Just like Proust’s madeleine, names evoke more than just an object.  They take you on an internal journey, filled with sight and sound and sensations…just as I see Marie, faded red hair wrapped in a kerchief, happily kneeling in the dirt and planting bulbs for a future she would never see.

Some Additional Thoughts on Names

  1. Be aware of how you name others.  Nicknames or descriptions determine perception.  If you are calling your child “the pretty one”, you can be sure she will learn that this is what you value.
  2. Notice how you name yourself. Many of us have an internal name-caller that isn’t kind.  Work with bringing compassion to your dialogue with you.
  3. Name the things you want in life…values, goals, directions. Naming is powerful.  Give yourself that power.

What is the power of naming in your life?  I would love to know.

About Susan Hammonds-White, EdD, LPC, MHSP:

Communications and relationship specialist, counselor, Imago Relationship Therapist, businesswoman, mother, proud native Nashvillian – in private practice for 30+ years. I have the privilege of helping to mend broken hearts.

 

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by | July 31, 2014 · 5:00 am

Health Savvy: Don’t Forget the Easy Things!

Female Doctor 2

 

 

 

 

You know the regimen of taking care of yourself: each day you avoid processed foods, eat modestly, enjoying fresh fruits, vegetables and fish or lean meats; you get your body moving at least 30 minutes 5 days a week; you watch your blood pressure and risk of diabetes; you get your mammograms, colonoscopies and Pap smears; you get a good night’s sleep each night and make sure your family does, too. Right. Creating the conditions for your health to thrive is practically a full time job.

What if there was something easy you could do that requires just a few minutes once a year? What if you could lower the chances of debilitating and life-threatening diseases without a second thought? What if insurance would likely foot the bill? As a specialist in preventive medicine and public health, I remind people daily of one of the easiest and most under-appreciated ways to stay healthy as we age: immunization.  Below are listed a few vaccines routinely recommended for all adult women (and men) at different points in life. For more details, you can visit www.vaccineinformation.org or www.cdc.gov/vaccines/adults

  1. Every woman, every year: Influenza (flu) vaccine. The only reliable way to cut your chances of catching the flu each season. How well it works depends on the season and on your immune system, but it’s inexpensive and widely available, so why not? It comes as a nasal spray, a short under-the-skin injection or a traditional injection: get whatever is convenient and appropriate for you. You cannot afford to get sick and spend a week in bed, or worse, so make this part of your annual self-care regimen. For efficiency, get any other vaccines you need at the same time.
  2. Every woman: Tetanus, diphtheria and pertussis booster (“Tdap”). We all need a vaccine against tetanus and diphtheria every 10 years. If you haven’t had a Tdap yet, don’t wait 10 years…go ahead and get it now. It provides added protection against pertussis, or whooping cough, which has been on the rise in recent years because (regrettably) neither vaccine nor illness provides long lasting immunity. It causes a miserable cough illness that lasts weeks in adults and life-threatening illness in newborns.
  3. Speaking of newborns…All pregnant women should get 2 vaccines during every pregnancy: flu vaccine and Tdap. Influenza during pregnancy can be especially severe, and newborns can catch deadly pertussis from mom or others. By vaccinating during pregnancy, mom’s body shares her protective antibodies with her unborn child, helping protect baby in the earliest weeks of life.
  4. All women through 26 years: Human Papillomavirus vaccine (HPV). This vaccine prevents infection with strains of HPV that cause 70% of cervical cancer and other types of cancers in men and women. It’s routinely given to preteens, but this vaccine is essential cancer prevention for any woman under 27 who hasn’t had it yet.
  5. All women 60 and up: Shingles (zoster) vaccine. Anyone who has had chickenpox can come down with shingles, a painful rash that develops from reactivation of the chickenpox virus inside a nerve. If you are 60 or older, your chances of coming down with it are 1 in 3. The shingles vaccine, given just once to everyone over 60, can cut that to 1 in 6. If you do get shingles anyway, you’ll be much less likely to experience the debilitating pain some sufferers endure for months.
  6. All women 65 and up (and some earlier): pneumococcal vaccine. The “pneumonia shot” is recommended once after turning 65, but watch this space! New recommendations for additional protection may be coming very soon.

This list just hits the highlights of routine vaccines. You may need others because of your health. The Affordable Care Act (ACA) requires your insurance plan to charge no deductible or co-pay if you receive them from an in-network provider. Coverage is a bit more complicated under Medicare, TennCare and “grandfathered” plans not yet subject to ACA. Ask your healthcare provider, insurance plan or pharmacist to see what your benefits are. The savvy woman doesn’t pass up the chance to optimize her health.

About Kelly L. Moore, MD, MPH

Dr. Moore is a public health physician, with a specialty in preventive medicine, who works to minimize the burden of vaccine-preventable diseases.

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by | July 29, 2014 · 5:00 am

Working the Room

Group

I do a lot of networking.  Not just a little, I do a LOT.  My job is to connect the dots between our company and our clients so that we can literally help build our communities.  To do that I rub elbows with a lot of industry colleagues, every week.  Because of this, you’d imagine that it comes naturally for me to “work a room.”  You know what working a room is: navigating a networking event (think cocktail party for business) and connecting with colleagues or even perfect strangers in a meaningful way.  Well, I’ll tell you a secret.  I used to be horrible at it.  I was the one huddled on the sidelines with the one or two other people I knew, awkward and (I was certain) obvious.

But I had to learn and, like any good engineer, I came up with a tool belt of techniques that turns networking from awkward into awesome:

  1. Before going to the event make a goal. It might be “Meet three new people and find out what they love to do”; or (having asked for the guest list ahead of time, which is often available from the organizers) “Connect with Jane Doe, John Smith, and Gordon Dalrymple.”  And (this is important) once you’ve substantially met your goal give yourself permission to leave.  That takes a LOT of pressure off.
  2. A valued colleague, who tends to get scared when entering a room full of strangers shared this tip: If you’re scared you tend to breathe shallowly and give off the “I’m not really approachable” vibe.  The first step when entering a function?  Breathe deeply.  It will change that vibe and change your whole experience!
  3. When entering the event, do NOT stop after coming through the front door. Walk, with purpose through the group towards the other end of the room.  While walking, scan the crowd for people you’d like to talk with and discern how you’ll join groups.  Often, there’s a bar or food table in the back of any event, so walking through is natural.  Believe me, it is a lot less obvious than standing stock still at the front door.  Extra tip: note those who are standing alone; they would probably be grateful if you introduce yourself!
  4. When joining a group enter across from someone you know or who looks nice enough to let you in. This way they will see you and can work to include you in the group.
  5. Unless you are best friends with all those in the group, extend your hand, make eye contact and introduce yourself by name: “I’m Laura Reinbold, it’s a pleasure to see you.” Especially if you aren’t wearing a name tag! Even acquaintances forget your name in the fray and those around will remember you better.
  6. Have some small talk questions ready and a story or two. A current event works great:  the latest sporting exploit; industry accomplishment in the community; or something relevant to the event itself.  One question that works well is “How are you connected to (this event) (the hosts)?”
  7. While food and beverages are usually abundant, resist eating too much or, worse, over indulging. It’s hard to walk around balancing a plate of food and a wine glass, and still talk professionally.  Choose one at a time. And having that second or third glass of free wine might be economical but it might not serve you well, conversationally.  Nurse that cabernet.
  8. When it’s time to go, or leave a group of colleagues, simply say “It was lovely to see you; I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.” No need for long explanations — everyone is there to move around.
  9. Lastly, relax and be yourself. The more relaxed and comfortable you are, the more you will make others feel comfortable and THAT will make a great impression!

About Laura Reinbold, PE

Ms. Reinbold explores ways http://www.ttlusa.com can help build our communities, from the geoprofessional side of the engineering profession.

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by | July 22, 2014 · 5:00 am

“Wise up ladies!”

Key

Through our many life experiences we become wise, knowledgeable, and gain much Wisdom.

Wisdom is what we offer to those who follow in our footsteps, those we coach and mentor, love and care for, and those we sit next to in the Board Room. Wisdom has a place in all of our lives.

I’ve shared these five (5) wisdom keys many times before and now I’d like to share them with you.

WISDOM KEYS

1. Performance First
You MUST perform in order to succeed. A no brainer!
2. Take Risks
Take the leap. Otherwise life will be safe and boring!
3. You Own Your Career
You are responsible for your career… your boss isn’t, your spouse isn’t … YOU are.
4. Network, Network, Network
Build Relationships with everyone you meet. People help people.
5. Ask For What You Want
If you tell people what you want, they don’t have to guess.

Recently, I was asked to speak to a group of middle school young ladies. So, I revised my wisdom keys to address a young audience….

WISDOM KEYS for Emerging Young Leaders

1. Study First – No excuse!
2. Stand out in the Crowd.
3. You are responsible for the choices you make:
The music you listen to, the way you dress, and the friends you choose
4. Network, Network, Network – build relationships with family, teachers and your church.
5. Ask for what you want – If people have to guess, they might guess wrong!

Sharing wisdom with others could change their lives…as it did ours, along the way! So, I encourage you to share wisdom with those who could benefit from it… you could change a life also.

 

 

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by | July 17, 2014 · 5:00 am

Step Up To the Table

Meeting Room

Being a woman executive in the engineering profession is still a novelty. It shouldn’t be, but it is. I’m often the only woman in the board room, in the leadership team meeting, or on the advisory board. Sometimes I’m even the first woman to have been around those tables.

Last year, Governor Haslam appointed me to the Architects and Engineer’s Licensing Board. In the 100 or so years of its existence, I am the first woman engineer or architect to have been appointed. Now, you cannot tell me that in the past 100 years there has not been a qualified female architect or engineer worthy of this appointment. Many are WAY more qualified than I will ever be. And before you go blaming past Governors or the influence of men in our profession, let me tell you what I found out. Those asked to suggest nominees for this appointment have been asked before to put forth qualified women’s names, they simply couldn’t find any women willing to commit to the service. That’s what I learned. Now, perhaps they didn’t look hard enough, or ask the right women, but nonetheless, they were told, ” No.”

If you’ve read Sheryl Sandburg’s book Lean In, this propensity for women to say no won’t surprise you. Women often undervalue their qualifications; many believe that if they aren’t 100% qualified for an opportunity, they should not accept it. Men, on the other hand, believe that if they bring over half the skills necessary to the task, they’ll pick up the rest of it OTJ and thrive in the position. This plays out over and over in job searches, promotions, even asking for raises: Women are consistently less likely to put themselves forward for consideration than equally qualified men.

This self-limiting behavior has got to change, ladies. We need you to look for opportunities to step into those leadership roles that you’ve every right to pursue. The young ladies who follow in your footsteps need you to; the men who will prosper from having your expertise at their tables need you to; and I need you to. I want more women at my tables!

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