Author Archives: Barbara Dab

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant. She is the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Holocaust: Next Generation. The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors. Check it out at www.theperetzproject.com If you, or someone you know, is the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

Looking Forward: Spring in My Garden

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These past couple of weeks I’ve been in a bit of a funk.  I’m not sure what triggered it, and I can’t really put my finger on what, exactly, I’m feeling.  I just feel a bit blue.  Perhaps the recent bout of constant rain and gray weather is what got me down.  But thankfully, today it’s glorious outside and I found myself motivated to work in my newly planted vegetable garden.

I’ve been planting vegetables the last several years since moving to the South, first in my previous home which had a large lot, and the last couple of years in my new home in a more urban neighborhood with a smaller yard.  Each year I learn something new about the process and about myself in the hopes that my garden will improve and yield a better crop than the year before.  It’s a “two steps forward, one step back,” sort of process.  Dealing with nature means being ready for the unexpected.  Haha, an oxymoron for sure.  What I mean is, I need to learn to roll with things as they come and be better at living in the moment and problem solving as things present themselves.

Last summer, was the year of the stink bug infestation.  Previous years I did battle with the evil vine borer.  This year, well, I’ve tried to prepare the beds with food and nutrients, along with some, shall we say, unsavory additives to ward off another invasion.  But who knows what’s lurking beneath the soil, in the trees, or what those cute but pesky little bunnies hopping in the neighborhood bring with them as they sneak in for a nibble.  I guess it’s a sign of my true optimism that every year I try again, not knowing what will happen, but believing that I’ll grow right along with my garden.  And most years I do have some victories.  Last year in spite of those stink bugs, I did have five beautiful pumpkins.  In fact, I still have some of the cooked insides waiting in the freezer to be turned into scones, pies, bread and jam.  I also had a bumper crop of heirloom cherry tomatoes, and still have a few sweet potatoes left in the basement.  So, there are rewards to be sure.

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One important lesson I learned last year is that my tendency toward going big doesn’t always work.  Of course, this isn’t news to me, but the overflowing beds really illustrated the problem.  After planting zucchini, pumpkins, cucumbers and spaghetti squash all in the same 4×4 raised bed, it was easy to see I hadn’t planned well for their growth. Before long, they were all tangled in each other and as the summer progressed, they spilled out onto the surrounding lawn, some of the plants rooting themselves into the grass.  The morning dew made for some soggy vegetables and some rot on the vines.  So, while early in the season I was sure there’d be enough room, I learned that when it comes to planting vegetables, less is definitely more.  This season, I’ve exercised some restraint and kept the beds sparser, allowing room for growth.  I also plan to experiment with trellises and vertical gardening for the squash and cucumbers.  And I’m taking a break from the pumpkins.  Too heartbreaking if they don’t make it.  See?  I’m managing expectations!

As the season progresses, I’m excited to observe how my newly learned lessons help the process.  I’m hopeful, as always, for a better year than last.  I’m also certain to face challenges.  And I just know I’ll learn something new.  Can’t wait!

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  www.nashvillepilatescompany.com.  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

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He’s Baaaaack! The Return of the Son

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File this under the “Be careful what you wish for,” file.

My youngest child has been accepted into grad school at a local university (I’m not allowed to say which one, just yet, but it’s very local to our home).  We are, of course, very excited to have him back home for a while.  But as reality sinks in and planning gets underway, I am also a bit apprehensive.  As empty nesters, we are about to have an adult roommate.  In my mind I picture a sophisticated arrangement where we enjoy dinner together, maybe a glass of wine at the end of the day.  I’m looking forward to someone else to do some of the cooking.  On the other hand, after several years alone, my husband and I have a nice routine of our own.  Our house is orderly for the first time in, well, forever.  Our utility bills are manageable, the refrigerator is stocked for two, laundry is done every couple of weeks and the thermostat is set for my comfort.  It’s all about to change.

Funny thing about having children; they grow up, they leave and then, one by one they each come back for a time.  The challenge for me is how to maintain my independence and balance it against my automatic return to “mommy mode.”  And actually, the bigger challenge is to recognize when I snap into mommy mode and then to manage myself so that I don’t get completely lost in it again.  This time around, I’m expecting that said adult child will be so busy with school, studying, internships and making new friends that he won’t be around all the time.  The goal, after all, is for him to launch the next chapter of his life.  And as he’s been living independently in another city for the last several years, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t need us for much anymore.  Additionally, I have a pretty full life myself with new friends, a business to run and volunteer work.

The first test came the other day when my son asked if he could share my office for his studies.  I was a little taken aback, then calmly told him that I think it would be best to set him up in one of the other bedrooms since I use my office regularly. Privately I was a little peeved because I’ve waited years to have a nice home office that is just mine and frankly, I don’t like to share it with anyone.  So, obviously we’ll have to establish boundaries.

I realize I’m getting ahead of myself right now.  And I also realize I’m having a roller coaster of emotions around this child’s return.  Excited, anxious, relieved, then anxious again, then back to being thrilled.  At least we have a few months before our new living arrangement begins.  In the meantime, I plan to do some personal work to figure out what are my boundaries and how do I want to communicate about them.  I want to be aware of my own triggers so that I can be prepared and not get sucked back in.  I also want to think about my expectations for this time in our lives.  It will be fun to have my little buddy back, to have someone to chat with over coffee, to discuss politics with and to have my social media guru around to help with that aspect of my business.  And I expect he will want to set his own boundaries and manage his expectations.

As the next few months of planning unfolds, communication will be key to making this a smooth transition.  And it will be important to remember that we all love each other and want each of us to be happy and content at home.  More to come.

And in other news, this past weekend I prepared my raised beds for planting.  Keep watching my posts for updates on my Summer Garden 2019!

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COMING SOON SUMMER 2019!

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  www.nashvillepilatescompany.com.  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

 

 

 

 

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Rediscovering My Passion

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My daughter is planning a job change.  She’s in her first big career job after grad school and, as her current situation does not have much growth potential, the time has come for her to move on and move up.  She happens to also have chosen a field that is both highly competitive and male dominated: collegiate athletics.  But the world of sports has been both her passion and her hobby since childhood, so it’s a natural fit as a career.

As she navigates her way through the job search, she’s having to do some soul searching about which direction to go, where to relocate, if she should relocate.  Her graduate degree is pretty broad so she has lots of options.  But sometimes a broad field can mean lots of distraction and confusion.  Figuring out long term goals in light of so much choice is overwhelming.  So she sought some advice from a counselor who gave her some wisdom that really resonates with me, too.

The counselor said there are two guiding things to consider. The first is figuring out what she’d want her life to be about, meaning what is her core passion?  Is it collegiate athletics, education, social media, design, etc.?  The next thing to consider is what she wants her life to look like, i.e., what type of daily work she wants to do in service of that passion.

It’s so easy in life to get sidetracked, to be lulled into complacency or to simply procrastinate until life happens around you.  I have always encouraged my children to follow their passions, especially while they’re young and unencumbered.  I fell early into adult life with marriage and children and big life responsibilities.  My early passions were shelved to make way for caring for others.  And while I don’t really regret those choices, I do feel the urgency of time passing way too fast these days.  The counselor’s advice rings true regardless of age or stage of life.

And so, I’ve begun to reflect on my life in light of thinking about my passion.  I’m not sure where this will take me.  I do believe there is a common thread that runs through everything I’ve done, both personally and professionally.  But still, I feel that something is missing.  So, thanks to my daughter, I’ve got some work to do.  I’m excited to let myself dream, to dig deep and maybe even remember a part of myself I’d left behind.  And maybe it’s time to honor the person I’ve always been and who, finally, will not be ignored.

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  www.nashvillepilatescompany.com.  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

 

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Recovering from the flu: Lessons Learned

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As I sit here writing this post, I am finally feeling more like myself than I have in a couple of weeks.  Two weeks ago, after a lovely weekend getaway with my husband, I got hit with a terrible bout of the flu.  I am not someone who picks up all sorts of little viruses from everyone I meet.  When I get sick, I REALLY get sick.  And this time was no different.  I had the fever, body aches, upper respiratory congestion, all of it.  And while my sweet husband tried valiantly to help with hot tea, soup and sympathy, there was pretty much nothing he could do to make me feel better.  My daughter, god love her, even sent an order of chicken soup from Whole Foods, along with a massive box of saltines.  And honestly, that was about the most helpful thing someone could do.  Mostly I just lay in bed trying to get comfortable.

So why am I engaging in this self-pity?  Well, this is the first time I’ve been sick while owning my business.  And that changed everything for me.  Much like a mom being sick while trying to care for small children, I had all the guilt and shame of not being able to care for my business “baby.”  Thank goodness I have a partner who could shoulder some of my tasks and was patient while I convalesced.  But honestly, no one could have been harder on me, than me.  And while I tried, I really did, to carry out at least some of my duties, I could barely lift my head off the pillow.  And as the week trudged on, I just kept beating myself up for not being able to do much of anything.

The second week of this flu, my fever broke and I felt less achy.  But the weakness and exhaustion continued for several more days.  I tried to do one big thing each day, and then spent the afternoon in bed.  I even tried to work out a bit, take a Pilates lesson, anything to get my body moving.  I haven’t felt that fatigued since I had mono as a teenager.  One day, I met with my partner, then had coffee with another business contact, and proceeded to go home and fall asleep on the couch.

Okay, I’m whining, I know it.  And while I’m also aware that my business can certainly survive a week or two of my absence, it was the unplanned nature of the absence.  Both my partner and I take vacations from time to time. But those are planned for and expected.  And of course, the randomness of getting sick also makes me feel out of control, and who likes that feeling?

So here I sit, feeling pretty normal except for a lingering cough, trying to figure out what I can learn from this situation.  Of course with any luck, I won’t be sick again for awhile, but there are other unpredictable situations that come up in life.   I guess for me, the biggest lesson is that it’s okay to be…human!  Getting sick is part of being human.  So is a family or pet emergency, a household repair or car breakdown.  In short, living life brings unexpected situations, both good and difficult.  Being a business owner surely complicates things, but if I’ve built a solid infrastructure, it can withstand these bumps in the road.  And I’m pretty confident that if I’d been a bit kinder to myself, I may have recovered a little quicker, or at least I wouldn’t have felt quite as fraught with worry.

So, here’s to a healthier body and a calmer, more forgiving (of myself) spirit.

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  www.nashvillepilatescompany.com.  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

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Happy New Year 2019: Choosing Happiness

Nashville NYE

Since I have committed to the first post of the month, I am usually tasked with writing our annual New Year’s thoughts.  It’s both an honor, and a burden to be the one to set the tone and offer some words of insight and/or wisdom for the beginning of a new year.  And, since I’ve also been called the “cheerleader,” of our HerSavvy group, I feel obliged to write something positive, optimistic, encouraging.  And honestly, it’s not hard for me to do just that.  I’m fairly confident that I am genetically predisposed to being an eternal optimist, able to overlook the harsh truths in front of me and hone in on whatever kernel of happiness I can find.

My mom was the same way and often took some ribbing from my family about what my dad called her “Pollyanna,” view of the world.  She characterized it differently.  She subscribed to the old adage (often incorrectly attributed to Abraham Lincoln), “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.”  As I’ve gotten older I find that I, too, live by this pretty basic ideology.  In fact, today I ran into someone I haven’t seen in several months and she remarked that I looked fabulous and asked what’s my secret.  I automatically replied, “Pilates and a happy life.”  And it honestly wasn’t just something I say to make conversation or to have a pithy reply.  I really do believe that my life is a happy one because I choose to find the positives in most situations.  Of course, I’ve had my share of sadness, loss, anger, frustration and pain.  I do feel the range of human emotions.  But this choice to find happiness is something I consciously practice.

This past year, choosing happiness has been a challenge.  The world as I knew it changed dramatically, my country changed in ways that frighten me and I worry about the future for myself, for my children and for the planet.  Some days I feel depressed and overwhelmed by what I read and hear in the news.  I’ve supported a sibling through a very difficult and painful life change that has left me grieving for my parents and wishing they were here to help me meet this challenge.  And along with all of this is the normal worries of middle adult life.

But buried in all the mess of 2018, I also found some wonderful reasons to be happy.  I had a milestone birthday and I’m in the best physical and emotional shape of my life.  My husband and I are enjoying each other and our empty nest.  My adult children, though continuing to find their way, are each enjoying professional success and are “off the payroll.”  I’ve made some amazing new friends and strengthened some old relationships.  I’ve also moved on from some toxic relationships and learned to set some more effective boundaries.  I’ve challenged my mind and my body to continue growing and learning, and I feel more comfortable with my own spirituality.

This practice of seeking out and choosing happiness isn’t anything magical.  I may find it a more natural behavior than someone else.  But anyone can train herself to do it.  Some people might begin with just feeling grateful for whatever they can.  Gratitude goes a long way towards being happy.  Another approach is to work towards looking at a situation differently.  There is almost always another angle that is more positive than negative.  Even in trying times, there is growth.  In loss there can be appreciation for what one had.  Out of anger can come understanding.

As I begin this new year, I plan to continue choosing happiness.  I understand now that for my mom it was also a choice.  She was not an unwitting Pollyanna, smiling mindlessly through life.  She set her course for happiness and navigated through the difficulties by keeping her eye on that prize.  I miss her sunny disposition and her calm patient way of guiding me towards happiness.  But I am proud to carry on in her stead and to welcome the future with open arms and a smile.  Happy New Year, everyone, enjoy this marvelous, flawed, beautiful, savvy world!

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  www.nashvillepilatescompany.com.  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

 

 

 

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Rededication

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Tonight, I will light three candles for the third night of Hanukkah. As I’ve written before, Hanukkah is a fairly minor Jewish festival.  It commemorates the victory of the small but mighty band of Maccabees who fought against the army of King Antiochus.  Antiochus wanted to outlaw the practice of Judaism.  When the Maccabees liberated the temple in Jerusalem, it had been desecrated and so needed to be cleansed.  The story goes that there was only enough oil to light the holy menorah over the altar for one night, but a miracle occurred, and the oil lasted for eight nights, enough to allow more oil to be prepared.

Every year I ponder why this festival is significant, and there are many explanations.  This year, I’m focusing on the concept of “dedication,” which is the translation of the Hebrew word “Hanukkah.”  In the case of the holiday, it refers to the Jews regaining control, cleansing and rededicating the temple.  For me, this year represents my rededication to myself.  There have been many dreams in my life that I’ve allowed to fall by the wayside.  I’ve focused on my family, my career and the many responsibilities I’ve taken upon myself.  But I’ve also begun to feel the urgency of time and the drive to revisit some of those old dreams before it’s too late.

I read a post recently on social media about the various famous people who had begun their careers later in their lives, many after already achieving success in some other profession.  It reminded me that regardless of my current age, there is still time and a place to realize some of my goals.  The key is to stay focused and to be realistic.  This year, I am dedicating myself to figuring out which of my early dreams to pursue and to create a plan to achieve them.

I also dedicate myself to letting go of those dreams that are the stuff of childhood.  I was a pretty dreamy child, spending my afternoons lying in the grass looking up at the clouds, creating stories about my life.  When I wasn’t outside, I was curled up with a book, imagining myself in the words of someone else.  As an adult, I have often felt disappointed that life isn’t the fairytales of my youth.

So now it’s time for me to separate the fairytales from the reality of my life.  What can I achieve?  What dreams do I want to hold onto and pursue?  What am I ready to let go of?  And, in this darkest part of the year, how will I find the light to guide me on my path?  Tonight, I will light three candles, and one more every night until all eight are illuminated.  And this week I will dedicate myself to remembering that I can carry that light with me all year.

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On more thing.  For those of you who followed my adventures in gardening this summer, I have a few final pictures.  The last pumpkins have been harvested, cooked and turned into pies and my sweet potatoes continue to fill us up.  Most recently, they were a yummy stuffing on Thanksgiving.  Enjoy!

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About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  www.nashvillepilatescompany.com.  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

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VOTE

Your vote your vioce

These past couple of weeks have been hard.  Attending the local vigil for the victims of the Tree of Life Synagogue mass murder, watching others on TV, reading the many stories of the victims and their families and talking about this horror with my friends have left me drained.  I am aware that my people has lived through this time before.  In fact, it seems to be our recurring theme.  But rather than relive the past right now in this column, I’d like to offer something else that has been repeated these last several days.  That is the notion that we, meaning the American people, have an opportunity right now, to make our voices heard.  We have the power of the vote to express our dissatisfaction and unhappiness, or for some, our satisfaction with the status quo.  The thing that gives me hope is that in our country, regardless of any administration, we have a peaceful outlet for expressing ourselves.  I, for one, have already exercised my right and voted early.  If you have as well, great.  If you have not, this is what I now implore you: VOTE dammit!  Today is Election Day!  Now is your chance.  Vote as if your life depends on it because it just might.  See y’all on the other side.

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  www.nashvillepilatescompany.com.  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

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It Happened Again…

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It happened, again, and this time it’s even closer to home.  This past Saturday morning, as my extended Jewish community in Pittsburgh was praying during the Sabbath, an anti-Semitic madman murdered 11 congregants and injured six more.  As everyone should know by now, the killings occurred as this animal yelled, “All Jews must die.”  Among the murdered was a 97-year-old Holocaust survivor.  The global response was immediate.  Leaders and people of all faiths condemned what is the single largest mass killing of Jews in the United States.  Except for our own President who, although he condemned the murders, also suggested an armed guard at the synagogue might have prevented this tragedy.  Additionally, he spent much of the weekend tweeting about the World Series, mocking elected leaders, tooting his own horn and calling the news media the “true Enemy of the People.”  And this is a man who has a Jewish daughter and Jewish grandchildren.  I am heartbroken, devastated and hardly know where to begin to express my outrage and sadness.

As many people here know, I was born and raised in Los Angeles, California.  Until 2007, when I relocated with my family to Nashville, I had been a member of two very large synagogues and was very involved in the Jewish community in L.A.  The threats to the community there were all too real and following a 1999 shooting at a local Jewish Community Center, my synagogue Board decided to install bullet proof glass doors, a wall around the perimeter of the property, and hire an armed guard to be stationed at the entrance to the parking lot.  Entry to the parking lot was by permit, issued to synagogue members, and visitors had to be placed on an approved list.  For the High Holidays, no one can enter the premises without a valid ticket.  There are security buzzers at the entrance to the administrative and rabbinic offices, which are entered through heavy bullet proof doors.  This was our family’s reality for many years.  We adjusted and carried on.  My sense of safety and welcome in this country began to crumble then, but nevertheless, we continued to show up, to participate, to celebrate and to live our most basic value of “repairing the world.”

When we moved to Nashville I was surprised to learn our synagogue, which faces one of the busiest and most visible streets in town, had no walls, no tickets are required and only a door buzzer with a camera signals to the office who is interested in entering the building.  We do employ a security consultant who is on duty during school hours, services and other special events.  During High Holidays, there are more officers, but the doors remain open.  And then, a few years ago, in the early morning hours, someone drove by the synagogue and fired a gun at the building.  Thankfully no one was there yet, but we began to take a more serious look at our own security.

But here’s the thing: no amount of “security measures,” can stop the hate that filled that maniac’s head and heart.  It’s like trying to stop an old leaky ship.  You can plug each hole as it springs open but sooner or later, the ship will need to be completely repaired or rebuilt, or it will surely sink.  And today I feel we have reached that point.  This country is broken at its core.  The leadership spends more time bashing each other, name calling and avoiding responsibility.  No one is even home when it comes to making hard decisions about gun control, mental health and basic human rights.  As I write this, the administration is sending over 5,000 troops to the Mexican border to stop a caravan of people looking for salvation here.

And, let me address the media bashing.  As a former news reporter, I can attest to the honesty and integrity of those who cover the stories we read, watch and listen to.  Yes, there are always going to be those who go after the sensational, those who embellish the facts.  Just like with anything, a few bad apples can spoil the whole bunch.  But make no mistake, the vast majority of the news media takes their job as a sacred obligation.  Trust me, there’s not much money or glamor in chasing down leads, digging up information and waiting patiently for a source to call back.  But there is holiness in sitting and bearing witness to someone’s pain as they describe a tragedy.  It is an honor to tell the stories of those who have no other voice.  And it is a privilege to be the Fourth Estate.  Without a free press, we would indeed not be the nation that we envision ourselves to be.

So, where do we go from here?  I’m not sure.  A couple of years ago I was at our synagogue’s monthly Board meeting.  During a discussion about attendance in services our rabbi charged each of us with the responsibility to lead by example.  He encouraged us to take our leadership roles seriously and to live the values we want to see in our congregants.  It’s something I’d heard before.  My late father, Judge Fred Rimerman, used to tell us to always be good citizens.  He taught my siblings and I to live by the laws and values of our community, our city, state and country.  If we aren’t happy with things, there are lawful, moral avenues for change, beginning with our right to vote.  I have tried to live my life by those lessons.  My dad’s voice rings in my ears when I face a moral dilemma.

Today I’m struggling with how to process these latest events and what to do about my own feelings of anger, despair, sadness and horror.  I’m relying on my childhood lessons to be a good citizen, my rabbi’s admonishment to lead by example.  Yesterday I was at a meeting at the synagogue and the rabbi stopped in to say a few words.  What stands out for me was his encouragement that we all keep showing up, we continue to be proud of our Jewish and American identities.  And he reminded us that there is always new life and new hope emerging.  Just before he came to speak to us, he’d officiated at a baby naming and circumcision ceremony for two new babies, and following his talk he would officiating at one more.  Three precious new lives entered the community of the Jewish people and there are more coming.

So, I pledge to carry the memories of those who perished Saturday at the hands of evil, just as I carry the memories of the six million who were murdered by the Nazis, those murdered in the pogroms of Russia and the many others in our history.  I will remind myself that the perpetrators are gone, but we are still here.  Those that sought to wipe us off the face of the earth were foiled in their attempts and we endure and thrive.

Today I will mourn and cry.  Tomorrow I will pick myself up and go on with joy and gratitude.

 

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  www.nashvillepilatescompany.com.  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

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Reflections on the Family Dinner

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This last few weeks has been hard for me for many reasons. My business has shifted gears, in a positive way, but has resulted in long hours and many decisions.  My husband has been working on a big project at work, so we haven’t had as much time together as usual, leaving us both irritable and feeling disconnected.  The Jewish holidays have come and gone and, while spiritually uplifting, the attendant socializing and entertaining have me feeling somewhat depleted physically.  And then there’s the big elephant in the room, the circus freak-show going on in Washington, which makes me sad, depressed, angry and frightened.  I am not really a negative person, in fact most people would say I’m unnaturally optimistic, but this month has been a struggle, even for me.

But, dear reader, do not despair. I was hit with inspiration the other day during a random, casual conversation with some of my colleagues.  I had brought my lunch to a meeting and the discussion turned to cooking in general, cooking for families in particular.  I was the only person with children of my own, the others being considerably younger than myself, but each of us had something to say about our experiences with family meals.  I mentioned that, while my children were growing up, I made family dinners an every-night thing. As the children got older, had more activities and eventually were able to drive themselves around, attendance was not always one hundred percent.  But, at the proscribed time, dinner was on the table for whomever was home.

One of my colleagues mentioned that her mom didn’t know how to cook, so they ate out every dinner, or brought in food from somewhere else.  This led us to discuss what, exactly, constitutes a “family dinner.”  Did it have to be homemade?  Did it have to be at home?  Did it have to be dinner?  I was struck by the guilt the other felt that they didn’t engage in this daily ritual with their families.  They judged their parents for not making it a priority.  I, in turn, began to feel self-conscious.  I am not one to hold everyone to some random standard that fits me and in fact, I try to look deeper in these types of discussions.  Did each of their families make some sort of regular interaction happen?  Could they look differently at their family’s process and see what they did to maintain connection?  For my family, dinner was the available time, but for other families it may have been something else.

The discussion revealed to me the complex and intense relationship between families and food.  Not a groundbreaking thing, for sure.  But scratch the surface and you’ll find that even in today’s modern world where things move at lightning speed and dinner can be obtained with the click of a mouse, by opening an app or by a meal delivery program, there remains a longing for people in the same household to spend time together.  For most of us food is comfort and the comfort of eating with those we love, in our familiar surroundings, makes us feel safer and less alone in the world.

In these turbulent times, we all long for a way to make sense of things.  At the end of the day I still feel comforted by going to the fridge, taking out the fixings for a home cooked meal and beginning the preparations while my husband pours a glass of wine and we share our day.  When my children come home for visits, they ask for their favorite meals and we cook together, catching up and remembering what always brings us back together.

If you have a memory or story to share about your “family dinner,” please share.  I’m working on a collection of stories on this subject and would love to connect with you.  Leave a comment here, or email me at barbaradabpr@gmail.com  Bon apetit!

Bonus points if you can identify the family in the featured photo!

P.S.  Here’s one last picture from my Summer Garden.  Sweet Potatoes!  Just dug from the ground, ready to dry and store for Sweet Potato pie for Thanksgiving!

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About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  www.nashvillepilatescompany.com.  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

 

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Summer In My Garden: Reflections

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This past month has been a challenge in many ways and I think my recent gardening experiences are particularly illustrative.  As you may recall, I began the season by planting four raised beds consisting of: broccoli, edamame, cabbage, sweet potatoes, pumpkins, cucumbers, spaghetti squash, eggplant, jalapenos, bell peppers and three types of tomatoes.  I know, I got carried away.  To date, the edamame has finished its growing cycle, the cabbage and broccoli were eaten by critters and are now gone, the cucumbers jalapenos and bell peppers are producing well, as are the tomatoes and I have a few gorgeous eggplants almost ready to harvest.  Unfortunately, the pumpkins and squash were attacked by an infestation of stink bugs and I’ve been fighting that battle the last few weeks.  I have managed to salvage five pumpkins and three spaghetti squash, and for that I am grateful.

I first noticed the nasty pests a couple of weeks ago during my daily maintenance.  I’d spotted a couple here and there, but that particular day, there was a total infestation.  I was, of course, completely grossed out and heartbroken.  Until that point, the garden was my best one yet, and everything looked gorgeous!  I researched some websites for help and information.  That same evening, my husband and I were out to dinner at a neighborhood restaurant and who wanders in, but my next-door neighbors who have lovely gardens!  I lamented my plight and they recommended a pesticide they’ve used that they swore would work.  When I returned home, lo and behold these lovely friends had left a can of the stuff on my back fence.  The next morning, we went to work applying the poison.  I crossed my fingers and left the yard.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve sprayed, weeded, removed dead leaves and had to make some tough decisions about what to save and what is beyond saving.  I’ve also had to come to terms with the fact that the promise of my beloved vegetable garden will not fully be realized. I’ve learned to take pride and joy in the small successes, like the five healthy pumpkins and three small but beautiful spaghetti squash, and I’ve focused a lot of energy on the crops that were not harmed, like the tomatoes, eggplants and peppers.

So, like in life, not everything turns out as planned, but everything has its own season.  I can stew (no pun intended) on the failures or give attention and love to the things I can control.  I can grieve over what might have been, or revel in the successes that came my way.  In the end, I can take satisfaction that I gave it my best effort, learned some new things and know that this will all come around again next year when I will have the chance to start fresh.  All in all, this year’s garden is still my most successful one to date and that is something to celebrate.

 

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  www.nashvillepilatescompany.com.  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

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