Tag Archives: Self Savvy

by | June 7, 2022 · 5:00 am

A Continuum of Time

Photo by Robert Trull on Pexels.com

Despite the horror unfolding around us both in this country and other parts of the world, life has an uncanny way of just plodding along. It’s almost like a two-tiered continuum, one filled with pain, terror, loss, and sadness, and one that holds the everyday, regular stuff of life. At least that’s how it feels to me right now. My work as a news reporter and editor currently keeps me focused on war, antisemitism, underserved populations, and social justice challenges. But, I also cover lifecycle events, community happenings, profiles of people doing amazing things, and other upbeat topics. I’ve also recently been faced with some practical challenges that sometimes leave me questioning whether to stay in my job or leave to find greener pastures. And alternatively, I learned I won a prestigious journalism award. So, you see, two tiers of life happening at the same time.

What to make of all of this? My mom used to say that all of life is yin and yang. The good is necessitated by the bad, the joy is sweeter because of the pain. Honestly, I thought it was ridiculous at the time. I couldn’t comprehend what she meant. I railed against loss, frustration, and disappointment. I raged at injustice as a completely unnecessary evil. And I shut out the thought of ever losing someone I love, ever.

The thing is, no matter how hard we try to hang onto our youthful idealism, life keeps on happening. It changes us. And I don’t mean to suggest change is bad. On the contrary, I believe change is both good and necessary. That was also a lesson I learned from my mom. In order to stay afloat in the stormy seas of life, it’s important to be both anchored, and buffeted by the wind. So, I remain optimistic and hopeful in the face of tragedy, but I also hold onto the lessons and memories of those who anchored me and even in their absence, continue to be my anchors.

I recently learned about a nonprofit organization that is working to rescue people in the Eastern part of Ukraine and get them to the safer Western part of the country. The rescue efforts began with children who are orphaned or in foster care, and now has expanded. I heard stories of bravery and fear, pain and joy, loss, and excitement for the future. Again, two things happening at the same time. In another part of the country, the Mayor of L’viv is planning a fundraiser to create a hospital to care for, and help rehabilitate, civilians who have lost limbs in the war, and to provide prosthetics to those who need them. A fundraiser while war rages all around. I’ve heard that in some parts of the country, it’s even hard to tell war is happening, while in others, cities have been reduced to rubble.

As for the mass shootings that have happened since I last wrote for this blog, I actually have nothing that makes sense of that. During the last month, a childhood friend lost a child to an accidental drug overdose, and I lost a cousin to pancreatic cancer. All these losses feel unreal, random, senseless. And they are.

So, what’s the flip side of these tragedies? I don’t think there is one. They are just horrible things that happened. Much like my younger self, I am filled with sadness, rage, and disappointment. Right now, it’s hard to see the other side, but my mom’s voice keeps me anchored while the storm blows around me. That voice inside that tells me to keep going, keep loving, keep giving to the world, keep hoping. I’m still here, still learning, still growing, still changing. Maybe someday it will make some sense.

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the Editor of The Jewish Observer of Nashville, and a former small business owner.  Barbara loves writing, telling stories of real people and real events and most of all, talking to people all over the world.  The Jewish Observer newspaper can be read online at www.jewishobservernashville.org . and follow her on Instagram @barbdab58

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by | March 1, 2022 · 5:00 am

Censorship, Integrity, and Standing up for Myself

Photo by Markus Winkler on Pexels.com

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the Editor of The Jewish Observer of Nashville, and a former small business owner.  Barbara loves writing, telling stories of real people and real events and most of all, talking to people all over the world.  The Jewish Observer newspaper can be read online at www.jewishobservernashville.org . and follow her on Instagram @barbdab58

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by | August 3, 2021 · 5:00 am

The Nest is Empty Again

The Full Team

Two years ago, our youngest son came home to live with us while he attended graduate school at nearby Vanderbilt University. Around the same time, our daughter returned to town to take a job and while she didn’t live with us, she lived near us, and we were able to see her regularly. It was my dream: to have one of my kids live in the same city, but not in the same house.

Flash forward one pandemic later, and both have now moved on, leaving our nest empty once more. My daughter has moved back to our hometown of Los Angeles to pursue her dream job and our son is heading off to New York City to find his next adventure. Our middle son has lived in San Francisco for several years now and shows no sign of returning for more than a visit. But you never really know…

It’s hard to explain the rollercoaster of emotions as our young adult children swing back and forth between our home base and the world beyond. Each move brings adjustments to our relationships and just when I think I’m used to the status quo, things change again. I admit freely that I have a hard time turning off the “Mom Button.” In fact, it’s probably never really off, just on idle, always ready to rev back up as needed for a phone call, text, email or a visit.

The goodbyes are the hardest. The ride to the airport feels like a last-minute rush to say all the things I’m afraid I didn’t say and yet, we make small talk to make it seem like just another normal drive. When we hug, I want to hold on to the baby that still lives in my heart and my memory, but I know I must let go of the adult who stands in front of me. During the ride home I feel empty and full at the same time. My arms are empty, but my heart is full of love and pride for the people they are.

I’ve heard it said that if we do our job as parents, they will leave. They will have the tools they need to live independent, productive, meaningful lives. I know it’s true, but it’s still hard. I have always loved having a front row seat to the best show in the world, watching my children grow up. Well, that show is over and now I get to watch from the wings as they take center stage in their own lives. And let me tell you, it’s a really great show.

So, here I am again, putting parts of the house back together after our son created his own little upstairs bachelor pad. It’s a good time to re-evaluate how we will continue to live in our home, to reclaim it for ourselves and decide what will be relegated to storage or trash and what will remain. I admit I’m looking forward to a little more calm; young men expend a surprising amount of energy just entering a room! I look forward to less laundry, smaller food bills, a neater kitchen. I will miss having our own in-house DJ on Sunday mornings, and personal tech support when I need it. I have loved chatting with my son over lunch, watching reruns of our favorite TV shows and movies. Like many people, we have a mountain of completed puzzles from our months stuck in the house and each one will remind me of this difficult, yet special time.

I guess the thing I think about the most is how lucky we are to have children who still like to come home and reconnect with us. Although we don’t live in their childhood house anymore, they have taught me that wherever we are together as a family is home and I look forward to gathering someday in one of their houses. In the meantime, I can’t wait to see what comes next for all of us.

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the Editor of The Jewish Observer of Nashville, and a former small business owner.  Barbara loves writing, telling stories of real people and real events and most of all, talking to people all over the world.  The Jewish Observer newspaper can be read online at www.jewishobservernashville.org . and follow her on Instagram @barbdab58

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by | July 29, 2020 · 11:00 pm

Where Are My Hummers!!!

You know how I love my hummingbirds, so I’d begun to get concerned.  I put my feeders out in the spring and looked forward to sighting my “usual suspects” enjoying the lovingly prepared nectar.  Alas, nothing.  No visitors.  Some time passed, I changed the food out faithfully, and, finally, one of the precious little ruby-throats showed up.  Hooray!!!

Days turned into weeks, and, still, just my one little friend came by, and only occasionally.  I had gotten used to at least several of the little charmers flitting and fluttering and chasing each other around.  “How do I know it was the same and only one?” you may ask.  I dunno how I know.  I just do.  After several years of hosting, I feel I can tell one from another, and this teeny one kept coming back all by itself.  I’m sure having no competition was nice for a while, but it had to get kinda lonely and I was getting nervous.  After all, with the changes in the environment, climate and the like, not to mention the Coronavirus, well…

I got busy and did some research.  I found an article at the Perkypet website.  They’ve been making bird houses and doing the bird thing since 1958:

The Cornell Lab of Ornithology in Ithaca, NY, is a terrific reference on all things birding, and they had this to say about the hummingbirds, “As you know, bird populations can fluctuate considerably from year to year. Only if this trend were to persist on a much wider scale for multiple years would it likely indicate a larger problem for the species. It is also true that what is happening in one location isn’t necessarily indicative for the species overall.”

Made me feel better.

According to Emily Gonzalez, UT/TSU Extension and Marcia L. Davis, UT/TSU Extension Master Gardener in their publication, Hummingbird Gardening In Tennessee:

Ruby-Throated Hummingbird Calendar

Typically, you will attract the most hummers into your yard during midsummer after young hummingbirds fledge and during fall migration when people see large numbers of ruby-throats at nectar-bearing flowers and hummingbird feeders. Fewer hummers are seen in spring.

By understanding the annual activity cycle of ruby-throats, you can create a flower garden emphasizing nectar-bearing hummingbird plants that bloom and attract the most hummers during the two migration periods: spring and midsummer through early fall. These are the two periods when the most hummingbirds will visit your yard, and providing an abundance of nectar during these times will help keep them well fed.

SPRING MIGRATION: Late March Through Mid-May

The earliest spring migrants arrive in Tennessee by late March. Though many people may not see their first hummingbird until about the second week in April, the migrants will continue to pass through until approximately mid-May. The timing of migration is why it is important to put hummingbird feeders up by April 1 each year.

So, it seems I’ve been doing the right things.  Maybe I’ve just been a bit overanxious.  I have actually seen another ruby-throat buzzing around.  They chase each other around and I sometimes wonder how either gets sufficient nourishment, but the feeders do empty out.  All of this information made me think, however.  The maintenance crew at my condo has been doing some major “pruning” and, even, in my opinion, indiscriminate tree removal.  They’ve been adjusting for the internet the association put into service last year and some condos have had problems using it.  So sad.  I don’t use that service so it’s not an issue for me, but the crew has been doing some major tree hacking.

More from Hummingbird Gardening In Tennessee:

Fall migration is when you will see the most hummingbirds. The population is greatest in late summer because of the addition of recently hatched young birds. Each successful nest usually produces two young hummers.

Hummingbirds must constantly replenish their fat reserves during migration. They feed heavily on flower nectar and sugar water from feeders as they continue on their journey. Planting a garden with lots of nectar rich hummingbird favorites that bloom during this period will attract migrants.

In contrast to spring when migrating hummers pass through an area quickly because they’re in a hurry to get to the breeding grounds, fall migration is more leisurely and stretched out over a longer period of time. This means better hummingbird watching with more birds. Migrant hummer numbers often peak between mid-August and early September in Tennessee.

Ahhhh…

About Jan Schim

Jan is a singer, a songwriter, a licensed body worker specializing in CranioSacral Therapy, and a teacher.  She is an advocate for the ethical treatment of ALL animals and a volunteer with several animal advocacy organizations.  She is also a staunch believer in the need to promote environmental responsibility.

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by | July 14, 2020 · 5:03 am

The Other Side of the Couch – What We Didn’t Know

March 18, 2020 – A day like many other days – I saw clients, did paperwork, watered plants – walked out, drove home.  I did not know then what I know now – that March 18, 2020 was the last day I would see clients in my office for many months, that the country was embarking on a perilous journey with no current end in sight, that the major issues of mental illness and trauma would be Trumped – and I use this word intentionally – by a raging pandemic, poorly controlled.  I did not know that my office would become a laptop, a butler’s table (the right height for the computer), a new office chair, rapidly purchased when dining room chairs began to cause backaches.

I did not know that I would lose clients who hate working online, gain clients who love it (so convenient – just like in person).  I did not know that I would tolerate working online but sorely miss being with people, that my ability to survive as an introvert who does not depend on other people’s energy for motivation would be a plus in this situation, that being unable to see my daughter and granddaughter would become intolerable.

I would not have believed that the leaders of our federal government would literally reject science in favor of pushing for opening the economy – at the expense of hospitals, health-care workers, and vulnerable populations.  I would not have believed that the simple, caring act of wearing a mask would become a political statement.

In the months ahead there could be many good things – science-based treatment, a variety of vaccines targeted for the different populations that are most at risk, a coordinated federal response, an economic plan that supports everyone rather than the 1%.  What we do know now that we didn’t know then is that life as we knew it is irrevocably changed.  Good things will come again – but much has changed, and much more will change.  When January comes, perhaps many good and new things will move forward.

I keep hoping – and voting in November.

About Susan Hammonds-White, EdD, LPC/MHSP

Communications and relationship specialist, counselor, Imago Relationship Therapist, businesswoman, mother, proud native Nashvillian – in private practice for 30+ years. I have the privilege of helping to mend broken hearts. Contact me at http://www.susanhammondswhite.com.

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by | February 25, 2020 · 5:00 am

Dogs Are My Favorite People

I can’t help it.  Dogs really are my favorite people.  I mean, when you’re happy they celebrate with you.  When you’re down, they’ll do their best to comfort you.  Unconditionally.  For my post today, I thought I would share an article and a video (https://youtu.be/zg6feSnBGYY).  The grammar’s a bit funky in spots, but I didn’t correct it.  Anyway, my sister shared this one on Facebook and I thought I would share it with you.  Have a woofing good day!

We call them “men’s best friend,” but apparently they are everyone’s best buddy. The unconditional love they offer, the loyalty and their friendly, gentle nature make dogs some of the most adorable creatures on Earth. And I’m sure we can all agree, no one’s brighting your day as a dog does. However, this lovely dog seems to take kindness to a whole new level. Everyone, meet Bruno.

Now, all dogs love walkings and they all got a bit the adventurous spirit, but Bruno – a Chesapeake-Lab mix is doing it for a great cause. He walks 4 miles everyday from his country home to Longville, Minnesota just to salute everyone. And he’s been doing this over the last 12 years.

Naturally, he’s a living legend among the locals and everybody heard about Bruno. “Everybody knows Bruno,” resident Sharon Rouse told KARE11 News. ” [You] may not know the people, but you’ll know Bruno. It’s just been his routine as far back as I know.”

Apparently, Bruno was a wanderer since he was just a pup. In fact, that’s how he met his owner, Larry LaVallee. “A guy come in my driveway, and Bruno was a little pup,” the man said. He says, ‘I found your dog at the end of your driveway.’ I says, ‘Well he ain’t my dog.’” But Larry instantly felt in love with that cute little puppy, so he decided to adopt him right away.

At some point, Larry tried to stop Bruno going on his daily journeys, thinking he might get hit by a car or he might get hurt, but he failed. So he decided to let the adventurous dog to complete his daily routine.

Everyone in the town knows Bruno. He use to visit the library, the ice cream shop, offices, grocery stores and even the city hall. And people are greeting him with warm hugs and food. “He’s our buddy, we kind of watch out for him the best way we can,” said Patrick Moran, an estate office owner. “Last week he came in stayed about an hour and a half or two hours.”

Bruno became so loved by the community, they named him the city’s ambassador and carved a statue of him. “He’s more friendly that most of the humans in town, and I’m not saying that in a negative way about the humans,” another local said. “He’s that lovable.”

About Jan Schim

Jan is a singer, a songwriter, a licensed body worker specializing in CranioSacral Therapy, and a teacher.  She is an advocate for the ethical treatment of ALL animals and a volunteer with several animal advocacy organizations.  She is also a staunch believer in the need to promote environmental responsibility.

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by | January 29, 2020 · 5:00 am

Excess To Lessess

OK, so I’m a pack rat.  Yes, I am.  I admit it.  I don’t think I’m a hoarder, because everything I see on television about hoarders is about buying tons of things that they don’t need and stashing them just in case they might ever need them or they may never be available on the planet again, or for no particular reason they know.  For me, much of what I keep is sentimental; Reminders of the past.  I don’t go out and buy an excess of anything, but I do keep odds and ends for the “just in case I might need it someday.”  It’s a habit I’ve had forever it seems.  Interestingly, and I think my ex might say it’s true, every time I finally got rid of some of those odds and ends under pressure, sure enough, the day would come shortly thereafter where we needed a little something just like the little something that I just threw out…

My condo is FULL.  As if I didn’t have enough stuff to move, at the time my ex and I parted ways, I had already cleared some stuff out of the garage and into a “climate-controlled” storage unit.  Oh, I thought this was a fabulous idea.  Why hadn’t I thought of it sooner?  It wouldn’t be in the way and I could go through it at my convenience.  You see, by this time, I had taught at, been in administration for, and seen the doors close on five different massage programs. You know what it’s like to empty an office… especially for a pack rat.  And then there’s grandma’s china, miscellaneous tools, sound equipment (singer and songwriter me), and more.  Just the smallest unit, I packed it efficiently.  Then, one day, I received a phone call from the facility: “We are re-purposing the climate-controlled building.”  I had one day to empty my unit.  One major U-Haul truck trip and, to where?  Why my living room, of course!  And there it lives ever since.  It’s embarrassing to tell, but it’s now been over a year and most of it (I did manage to give some things away) is right where it landed.

In my defense, I had begun to suffer severe back pain developed over years and just couldn’t face the prospect of going through boxes.  Well the surgeon has fixed my back and I’ve been laid up at home amidst it all and I have promised myself that as soon as I am able to lift and move things again, I am going to tackle it.  All of it, and more!

I came upon the book you see above, “The Year of Less,” by Cait Flanders, and, while I’ve always thought I believed in the ideas she pursued, I sure can’t say I’ve lived them.  She challenged herself to stop drinking (Fortunately, I gave that up long ago.), stop buying anything that wasn’t on her “approved shopping list” for a year and begin giving away anything and everything that was not essential.  Being parked at home, I was painfully aware (pardon the pun) of the mess I had before me and apologized profusely to the dear friends and my wonderful sister who stayed with me when I first got home from the hospital.  But Ms. Flanders’ book inspired me and made it bearable.  My healing is slow, but sure and I’ve even returned to work on “transitional duty.”  One of her suggestions is, “Tell everyone what you’re doing.”  She says it helps create accountability. Well, I’m telling y’all, so I guess now I’m accountable.  Stay tuned.

About Jan Schim

Jan is a singer, a songwriter, a licensed body worker specializing in CranioSacral Therapy, and a teacher.  She is an advocate for the ethical treatment of ALL animals and a volunteer with several animal advocacy organizations.  She is also a staunch believer in the need to promote environmental responsibility.

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by | November 26, 2019 · 5:00 am

What Are You Thankful For?


I am thankful for my family.  I am thankful for my friends.  I am thankful for my sweet little dog, Winnie.  I am thankful for the surgeon who is going to take good care of me next week.  I am particularly thankful for what seems to be a new awareness regarding the earth’s plight.  There are more and more organizations trying desperately to clean up our oceans.  There are more and more organizations trying desperately to clean up our lands.  There are more and more organizations trying desperately to make life better for the disadvantaged.  There are more and more organizations helping abused children find a better place in the world.  There are more and more organizations rescuing pets (like my Winnie) and finding good homes for them.   And there are more and more organizations trying to help refugees displaced from their countries of origin to find new places to start over.

It is unfortunate that there are key people in our government and other governments who would like to thwart much of this change, but I believe we will overcome their efforts and we will prevail.  For this, I am truly thankful.

I wish you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving.

About Jan Schim

Jan is a singer, a songwriter, a licensed body worker specializing in CranioSacral Therapy, and a teacher.  She is an advocate for the ethical treatment of ALL animals and a volunteer with several animal advocacy organizations.  She is also a staunch believer in the need to promote environmental responsibility.

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by | July 23, 2019 · 8:00 pm

Talking To Your Sister Is Sometimes All the Therapy You Need –anon

My mother always stressed how important my sister and I are to each other. Whenever we fought, and, like all siblings do, we DID fight, she would remind us that sometimes, and perhaps someday, we would be all we had.  “When your friends are not there for you, or you have lost a love, anything, your sister will be there,” she would say, and how right she was.  She was an only child so I guess she felt the value of having a sister more than we did at the time.  As it happened, thankfully, our Uncle Howard, my father’s older brother, married my Aunt Helen who too was an only child.  Now, my mom literally grew up with my dad and his brothers because my grandmothers were best friends.  It naturally followed that Marilyn and Helen became “sisters” big-time.  They were pretty much inseparable for most of their lives.  Again, like siblings, they had their moments, but all was always forgiven in the end.

This is a plaque in my room.  A gift from my sweet sis’, it greets me every morning.  I smile.

I am so grateful to my mother, OUR mother for instilling this gratitude in us.  Our love and caring and support for each other have carried us through many an emotional trauma.  We’ve spent plenty of long sleepless nights on the phone or in person working through life’s challenges.  We both have wonderful friends, of course, who have shared their support through the ups and downs, but there is something beyond special about our sisterly relationship.

Losing Mom this spring and taking care of all that was necessary following her passing has been proof of that.  We cared for her right there at home, with the help of hospice, but it was just the two of us there for most of the last days and at the end.  Joan and I spent two and a half months together under the same roof, a true test indeed.  We hadn’t been together for more than a few days or a week, maybe, since childhood.  Oh, we did have a couple of skirmishes, but Mom’s words got us through.  We didn’t say it out loud, but I know we were both thinking it.  In a moment, one time, we did tell each other that we thought Mom would be proud of us.

If you have a sibling or siblings, I hope you are close like we are.  I have to say that Mom would often comment on how happy she was that we appreciate each other like we do.  She spoke of friends whose children didn’t even speak to each other — ever. I have friends like that. Very sad.

About Jan Schim

Jan is a singer, a songwriter, a licensed body worker specializing in CranioSacral Therapy, and a teacher.  She is an advocate for the ethical treatment of ALL animals and a volunteer with several animal advocacy organizations.  She is also a staunch believer in the need to promote environmental responsibility.

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by | February 26, 2019 · 5:00 am

And Then There Were None

Ain’t technology grand?  I had two laptops.  Yes, two.  One, a full size model, many years old with many, many miles.  As Fred Byrd, a Used Car Manager I worked with years ago said about a car I traded in, and it certainly would have applied here, “Well, you certainly have enjoyed your car.”  The other is a much newer, handy little light weight, very portable model.  In a matter of days, I had NO working computers.  And I have been used to always having technology at my finger tips.

So here’s how it went:  The old one had been running slower and slower.  Finally, it just didn’t want to work at all.  Oh, it would “boot up,” but that’s as far as it would go.  Later, a trip to the Geek Squad, who said “patience” was key (and all my patience has never gotten me any further with it) convinced me that it was time for a new computer.

What happened to the other one?  A mistake on my part, and one I want to share with you in hopes that I can prevent any of you from making a similar one, became an expensive lesson.  See, I accidentally deleted a couple of emails I thought were real important at the time, so I started on a mission to try to retrieve them.  It’s a long story involving my Gmail, my iPhone, Apple Tech Support, and what I thought from a Google search, was a bonafide Microsoft help desk that could help me.  The result was a very long lecture showing me, after I trustingly gave him control of my screen, that I had been hacked and someone in like Nebraska somewhere was accessing my computer.  Oh, they could help me get it cleared up alright, with a $400 commitment to use their security program.  Funny, I hadn’t had any trouble with this laptop until I called the number for help.  After what seemed like hours, I finally extricated myself from his clutches.  The next time I started my cute little “extra” laptop, I had an error message telling me an application was open on my computer and to call the number on my screen to resolve the problem.  I couldn’t get rid of it and I couldn’t open any programs.  What was the number you may ask?  Why, it was the number I had called for help of course.  I have now come to learn about “ransomware.”  Thence, the trip to the Geek Squad with two defunct laptops in hand.

The ransomed laptop was an inexpensive one, for sure, and I was able to get it “wiped,” but to the tune of about half what I paid for it when I bought it.  Yeah, I could have just given it up, but I REALLY wanted that bunch out of my world completely.  I did sign up for some security and tech support for this and up to about five more computers, which I will def apply to my new one.

This brings me to the next step…

So many choices!  I looked at so many laptops – I had to take photos to help me remember which I thought I might like (and could afford).  Did I want Intel or AMD, and what was the difference?  Did I really need a 15.6 inch screen again or would 14 inches do?  Oh yeah, and then there’s touch-screen or not.  How about a 2-in-1 versus a “regular” laptop?  You probably already knew this, but this one, I learned, converts to a tablet.  The list goes on.  And the price goes up.  I sure hadn’t planned on or budgeted for a new computer, but like everyone, I depend on it so much.

I’ve opted for the smaller 2-in-1 for now and, so far, I do like the touch-screen.  I have 90 days to decide for sure, one of the joys of being a COSTCO member.  Best Buy only gives you two weeks to change your mind.  Technology really is grand, I suppose, when it works.

About Jan Schim

Jan is a singer, a songwriter, a licensed body worker specializing in CranioSacral Therapy, and a teacher.  She is an advocate for the ethical treatment of ALL animals and a volunteer with several animal advocacy organizations.  She is also a staunch believer in the need to promote environmental responsibility.

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