Tag Archives: women as leaders

by | February 21, 2017 · 5:00 am

When Should I Quit?

when-to-quit

I was raised to believe in perseverance and not giving up. Quitters were often labeled as losers who gave up too soon and therefore never achieved success. Think of childhood sports, like T-ball or soccer, where the coach and parents scream at the children to keep trying even when it is obvious their team can’t win.  No one wants to be a quitter.

The dilemma of whether to quit becomes riskier when one reaches adulthood. Adults who quit are often risking the loss of a job, ending a marriage, or losing money on a failed business venture. The emotional burden is much more severe than losing a kid’s game.

I’ve spent years of misery in jobs I hated before finally accepting the obvious fact that my values were incompatible with my employers. I’ve continued supporting ventures that sank faster than the Titanic because I didn’t want to be branded a quitter. But at some point, our “gut reaction” can’t be ignored. We need to accept that failure is probably the only realistic option.

Recently I’ve been struggling with the decision to quit a commitment I made less than a year ago. True to my usual form, I spent months stewing about it before I finally asked my trusted friends to help me decide what to do. They asked three questions.

  1. What goal am I trying to achieve? I joined an organization because I believed in their mission. Unfortunately, they were already in crisis and I realize now that I was recruited because I have skills that could help them resolve their problems.
  1. What support do I have to achieve the goal? I knew the answer to this question, but had been delaying accepting it. I lack support from the organization because key insiders are comfortable with the status quo and afraid of what change means for them personally. I can continue to suggest needed changes but my perseverance won’t change their resistance.
  1. What will I gain by quitting? Quitting would end the emotional toll of trying to change an organization that doesn’t actually want to change.

There is no bright line test to know when it is best to persevere and when it is best to cut one’s losses and quit.  Asking trusted friends or family for advice is a great starting point for making the final decision because their vision is not clouded by the emotional attachment that makes it difficult for us decide.

About Norma Shirk

Norma started her company, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor, to help employers create human resources policies for their employees and employee benefit programs that are appropriate to the employer’s size and budget. The goal is to have structure without bureaucracy. Visit Norma’s website: www.complianceriskadvisor.com.

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by | February 14, 2017 · 5:00 am

The Other Side of the Couch – Starting a Business

business-plan

When I first began to contemplate the idea of becoming a therapist I was not even aware of the differentiations among the mental health professions; nor was I aware of what creating a private practice in that field would require.  One of the mentors I consulted told me that It would take ten years before I really felt seasoned enough to open a private practice.  I told myself that she was mistaken, didn’t really know me and my intellect and determination – but as it turned out she was right on the money.  I began my first degree in the field of professional counseling in 1980, and I started a private practice in 1990 – with lots of school, two degrees, work in social services in Massachusetts, and in community mental health in Nashville, in between.

As a seasoned professional counselor, well-grounded in my ability to serve clients, to diagnose and treat, to create treatment plans, to help clients navigate the changes that they desired, I was in a good position.  However, clinical expertise is not all that running a private practice requires.

Nowhere in the experience that I had accrued did any course address the issues of starting a business.  In fact, the idea that private practice was a business was actively discouraged.  We were taught to see ourselves as professionals with a calling, and to hold the idea of “business” with some degree of disdain.  To acknowledge that we were in business and that we hoped to make money to sustain ourselves and our families was regarded with condescension.

I noticed that the few men with whom I trained had less difficulty with this issue.   The women, however, struggled.  What to charge?  How much was fair?  How can I help those who are struggling financially and who yet need my services?  The idea of a business plan didn’t even exist in my consciousness.

What I have learned over these years in practice is that the positives of private practice – no boss, flexible hours, working as much or as little as one desires – do not make the other side of running a business go away.  As a solo practitioner, I am responsible for EVERY ASPECT of my business. My first duty is to my clients, with FIRST DO NO HARM as the central ethical mandate.  I run my own schedule.  I return all phone calls.  I keep up with best practices in my field.  I attend conferences and make sure that I use continuing education to stay current.  However, I also market.   I recruit business.  I manage online and social media.  I create websites (or hire having them created).  I am responsible for keeping up with paperwork, for interacting with insurance companies.  I clean the office.  I vacuum.  I take out the trash.  I buy supplies – all the way from insurance forms to paper towels.  I also manage the bookkeeping and everything related to paying taxes, from quarterly assessments required for solo practitioners to Schedule C profit and Loss statements for income tax purposes.  This means keeping excellent records of everything related to the business.

If you want to start your own business as a private practitioner, I recommend the following:

  1. Talk to someone who has been in successful practice for a while.
  2. List the pros and cons.
  3. Recognize your own strengths and weaknesses. Consider hiring others to do things that are not your strengths.
  4. Have a business plan, an attorney and a bookkeeper, at minimum.

Good luck!

About Susan Hammonds-White, EdD, LPC/MHSP:

Susan is a communications and relationship specialist, counselor, Imago Relationship Therapist, businesswoman, mother, and proud native Nashvillian. She has been in private practice for over 30 years. As she says, “I have the privilege of helping to mend broken hearts.”  Contact Susan at http://www.susanhammondswhite.com

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by | February 7, 2017 · 5:00 am

Finding Hope and Inspiration in a Life Well Lived

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These days it’s hard to feel inspired.  I wake up each morning worried and anxious about what new, manufactured, crisis was created while I slept.  I check the news outlets I believe are reliable so that I can try and anticipate what will come today, and I struggle not to panic and to keep focused on my personal goals.  It’s a challenge I’ve never faced, this difficulty feeling optimistic and inspired.

Last week’s New York Times published an Op-ed by David Leonhardt.  It was a eulogy of sorts for former PepsiCo executive Brenda Barnes.  Barnes made news 20 years ago when she quit her job to become a stay-at-home mom.  She died a couple of weeks ago, at the young age of 63, following a stroke.  After reading her story, I felt a spark of inspiration mixed with some hope.  You see, Barnes started the dialogue about work/life balance.  She was proof that it is possible to craft a meaningful life filled with work, parenting and personal growth.  She paved the way and while there is still much work to be done in the area of equal pay and workplace supported parenting, she elevated the topic.

To be fair, Barnes’ path was incredibly atypical.  After raising her kids, she was able to move back into the workforce as chief executive of Sara Lee.  Her legacy is carried through her middle child, 28-year-old daughter Erin.  She herself left a lucrative job a few years ago, so she could care for her ailing mother and today is pursuing a nursing career, one she finds more meaningful and adaptive to family life.  Erin acknowledges her mother’s unique opportunities, but the message remains the same.  At a family memorial for her mother, she implored everyone to remember her mother’s insistence that we not work too hard.

So why does Brenda Barnes’ life give me some hope and inspiration?  I also made life choices based on spending time with my children.  Sometimes I wonder, “what if,” but most of the time I’m happy with my choices.  Of course I’m just a few years younger than Barnes, so perhaps the path wasn’t as clear for me as it is for my daughter.  But therein lies my hope and inspiration.  I am hopeful that, thanks to women like Brenda Barnes, this next generation will move the needle farther.  Although women continue to pay a higher price for parenthood and making choices, I’m hopeful our voices are stronger and that we will continue to push harder.  I am inspired by Barnes’ story and of her lasting message that work isn’t everything, that life is precious and often too short, so it’s important to find meaning and purpose and, ultimately, love.

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Check it out at http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

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by | December 13, 2016 · 5:00 am

The Other Side of the Couch – What Do You Do When Your Heart Is Broken?

broken-heart

November 8, 2016 started out as a day of hope for millions of United States citizens.  By November 9 that hope had been transformed into what felt and has continued to feel like a surreal nightmare.  As one young friend said to me that day, “This is not the country that I thought I lived in.”  Reminding one’s self that this election did not reflect the majority vote is helpful, but it does not change the fact that the person who triumphed in this race did so by unleashing the forces of bigotry and hate.

What can a person do who is struggling with what happened?  What do we tell our children, who in many cases have awoken to a totally unexpected world – a world in which bullies triumph and hate speech is condoned.  What do we tell our friends from other countries, whose skin color, accent, race or religion have been targeted?  What do we tell each other as women, whose ability to have control over our own bodies is in jeopardy?

I don’t have good answers to these questions.  I know that in this democracy power is passed peaceably.  I try not to believe that all the people who voted for him support these kinds of attitudes.  I have heard people say that they voted for him in spite of these attitudes because they are so desperate for change and felt so unheard.  Well, good luck with that.  You have unleased the genie, and putting all of this anger and hatred back in the bottle is going to be a hard job.

I know that he will be the 45th president.  I also know that I can’t give up and stop trying to effect change, be it at the most micro level by the way I talk to someone, listen to someone, write to someone, challenge someone.  I will hold my broken heart and sew it back together with words and actions that continue to support the values of caring and inclusion on which I have based my life.

What will you do?

About Susan Hammonds-White, EdD, LPC/MHSP:

Susan is a communications and relationship specialist, counselor, Imago Relationship Therapist, businesswoman, mother, and proud native Nashvillian. She has been in private practice for over 30 years. As she says, “I have the privilege of helping to mend broken hearts.”  Contact Susan at http://www.susanhammondswhite.com

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

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by | December 6, 2016 · 5:00 am

The Women’s Movement:  Still Work To Be Done

equality

My greatest role model was my mother, a true woman of the 1950s.  She was, and remains for me, the smartest person I’ve ever known.  She was college educated, well traveled, cultured, the only child of a high profile, socially and politically active local power couple.  But when she expressed her desire to become a lawyer, her father, the judge, encouraged her to become a teacher.  Much more appropriate for a woman, he told her.  Women lawyers at the time were considered, in her words,  “mannish,” and not attractive as wives and mothers.  And so she became a teacher, married, raised a family, cared for elderly parents, volunteered and eventually, re-entered her profession.  She was a voracious reader and encouraged discourse during family dinners.  No topic was off limits.

During my childhood in the 1960s and ‘70s I had a front row seat to watch the women’s movement unfold, although I was too young to be an active participant.  Sometimes I feel like I fell between the cracks; too young to claim the struggle and too old to be a real beneficiary of my older sisters’ fight.  And so I began my adult life without a template, my bra a bit singed but still intact, my mother’s encouragement that I could be anything I wanted ringing in my ears, but still unsure of how to carve out a path.

Over the years, I’ve managed to raise kids, own a business, return to grad school twice and become a community leader.  I’ve watched my daughter grow into a strong, independent, free thinker whose life choices so far are very different from my own.  She and her generation are the real legacy of those that fought the good fight.

And yet, there is still work to be done.  A few years ago we were shopping for a family car.  At the time, I was a stay-at-home mom and the car was for me to drive while schlepping kids around.  At the dealership, the salesman continually addressed my husband with details about the car, despite the fact that I was the one asking the questions.  At one point my husband, God love him, looked the salesman straight in the eye and said, “You should talk to her.  She’s the one who will be driving the car and she’s making the decision.”

I am now about to open a new business and on a recent afternoon, meeting with a leasing agent for a space, my business partner and I were encouraged to “work our feminine wiles,” to get a good deal.  My partner, who is much younger than I am, blew it off.  I, however, am still seething.  This man, about my own age, objectified us and when I called him out for his sexist stereotyping of us, he defaulted to the old, “I’m just kidding,” response.  It was not funny to me.

So what’s next?  At this time in our nation’s history, I fear the progress my older sisters fought for will be rolled back.  A journalism professor of mine, who’d been a wartime reporter in Vietnam, wrote about the influence of birth control on women entering the workforce.  Armed with the ability to choose when, and if, to start a family, women had more control over their lives.  So, too, with Roe v. Wade, women can control their own health care decisions.  Will this all disappear?  The public discourse today sounds to me like an old newsreel from my childhood.  Sadly, it’s not.

The Spanish philosopher George Santayana wrote in 1905, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”  And while it’s easy these days to give in to despair and fear, I am determined to remain hopeful and heartened.  I remind myself that everything changes and I can be a catalyst for positive change.  I also take heart as I watch my daughter embark on a career once reserved only for men, in the world of sports.  She has found a place in which to express her passion and talents and I hope she will also reach back into her history and know she stands on some very strong shoulders.

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Check it out at http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

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by | November 16, 2016 · 5:00 am

From First Lady to FLOTUS

eleanor-roosevelt-2

When the founders of the U.S. created the office of President they didn’t waste any time on the role of the First Lady.  That’s not surprising.  The founders were all men and in the 1780’s, married women were expected to keep quiet, have lots of babies and not interfere in politics.

Martha Washington was the original First Lady and she followed the social standards of her day.  She hosted salons, genteel affairs where the upper crust of society could hobnob with the President and members of the Cabinet.  But she stayed firmly in the background and had no political opinions.

The women who succeeded Martha Washington are mostly cyphers forgotten by history.  The one exception in the 19th century is Mary Todd Lincoln.  She is remembered because she had a dreadful life in the White House.

Her husband was despised by half the country, including many northerners and Mary lacked the political smarts to be an asset to him.  Her political follies could fill a book. For example, she decided to redecorate the White House and was shocked when journalists attacked her for wasting money on new curtains and china while the country was at war.

She also endured personal tragedy.  Most of her family sided with the Confederacy which led the newspapers to brand her a traitor living in the White House.  She lost her son Willie to a lingering illness.  The crowning sorrow was the assassination of her husband.

For decades after that, First Ladies kept a low profile until social standards changed the role of women.  The epitome of the modern First Lady is Eleanor Roosevelt.  She entered the White House with her own political agenda.  She wrote a daily newspaper column arguing for labor rights, an end to racial segregation, and much more.  She was so busy she developed her own office and a staff.

Since then, each First Lady is given an official staff and expected to support her own causes. Recently, she even became an acronym: First Lady of the United States (FLOTUS).  However, First Ladies must still avoid being too overtly political.  Eleanor Roosevelt and Hillary Clinton were criticized for interfering in politics.  As a result, First Ladies tend to support “women’s issues” such as children’s health and education. Michelle Obama supported healthier lifestyles to reduce childhood obesity.

It will be months before the in-coming First Lady defines her role as FLOTUS. She certainly has a wide range of role models to choose from.  But her choices may be more limited than other recent First Ladies because the last time an incoming president was this unpopular was 1861.  The only certainty is that the newest FLOTUS will mirror some aspect of current social standards for women.

About Norma Shirk

Norma started her company, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor, to help employers create human resources policies for their employees and employee benefit programs that are appropriate to the employer’s size and budget. The goal is to have structure without bureaucracy. Visit Norma’s website: www.complianceriskadvisor.com/.

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by | November 1, 2016 · 5:00 am

To Partner, or Not to Partner:  That is the Question

partnership

Although the calendar year is winding down, for me it is also the beginning of the year 5777, the Jewish New Year.  This means I get a second crack at New Year’s resolutions, a head start on planning for 2017 and also, thanks to several weeks of holidays, a renewed spiritual energy.  And it’s a good thing, too, because I have a feeling 2017 is going to be filled with change.

But I’m getting a little ahead of myself, so let me explain.  I am in the process of developing three different major professional projects.  Two of them are solely my own, but one of them involves a potential partner.  That is perhaps the project that is the most daunting and also the one that is currently the most fun.

I have never had a business partner before.  Many years ago I owned a small franchise business and although I was part of a supportive network of owners, I was pretty much on my own.  I enjoyed all of the success, but also shouldered all of the burdens.  This time around, I’m planning to partner with a friend, something most people run from.  But I am confident we have a very specific division of responsibilities and a very clear vision for what we want to create.  And while I have some anxiety over sharing control, I believe for now that it’s a worthwhile trade off.

I want to offer some tips for partnering because whether it’s with a friend or someone who is just a business associate, there are some things that are universal.

  1. Before deciding to partner, figure out if it’s really necessary. That sounds obvious, but many people get carried away with the idea of going into business with their BFF and before you know it, things are out of control.  Conversely, some people lack the confidence to go it alone and default to having a partner.  So ask yourself, “What do I bring to the table, and what is missing?”  If the missing skills and talents are things you can learn on your own, by all means try it.  If there are specific skills you lack that cannot be readily acquired, consider a partner.  Also consider your financial resources.  Do you need to invest with someone, or can you take the risk yourself?
  1. Once you decide you require a partner, work on developing your business plan together. TAKE. YOUR. TIME.  Do not rush this part of the process.  It is critical to the success of the partnership that you learn how to communicate and get to know each other’s quirks, strengths and weaknesses.  Even if you are friends, this is a new context for your relationship and it will take time to develop.
  1. Figure out how you will divide your responsibilities and financial resources. It is critical that you both have a clear sense of who is doing what.  Again, obvious maybe, but it’s amazing how quickly things can unravel in all the excitement and stress of setting up a new business.  This is a good time to consider consulting an attorney who can help you define the parameters of the partnership and it’s dissolution.  Kind of like a business pre-nup!
  1. Be patient! Setting up a business takes time.  Patience is definitely not one of my virtues, but I’ve been working at it.  It helps to make realistic goals and expectations.  Having a partner is beneficial for me because we keep each other in check and commiserate when things don’t go as planned.
  1. HAVE FUN! I know it’s business but really, why take the risk if you don’t believe in what you’re doing and it isn’t fun. Try to stay focused on your goals and find pleasure in the little things.  Finally getting a call back from a potential landlord after several attempts to connect, hearing potential clients tell you they can’t wait for your business to get going, finding out you can get a discount on some of your necessary materials.  Things like these add fuel to your dream.  Keep going, it’s worth it!

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Check it out at http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

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by | October 18, 2016 · 5:00 am

Four Reasons to Celebrate the Battle of Hastings

dover-castle

October 14th was the 950th anniversary of the Battle of Hastings.  The town of Hastings is most famous these days as the setting for the television series “Foyle’s War.”  Back in 1066, William the Conqueror invaded England and fought King Harold near Hastings.  William won the battle when King Harold died after he was shot through the eye with an arrow.

There are many reasons to celebrate the Battle of Hastings today.  It truly did change the course of history.  Here are four of my favorite reasons for celebrating it.

  1. The English language changed forever when Norman French was combined with the early English spoken by Anglo-Saxons and Danes (of the Viking invasions). That’s why we have so much duplication in modern English, such as “sheep” and “mutton” for the same animal.
  2. Popular tourist sites were built by the Normans. The White Tower in the Tower of London was built by William the Conqueror.  Windsor Castle (the current queen’s favorite home), Dover Castle and Richmond Castle were all built by the Normans.  In fact, they were such prolific builders “Norman” castles are an architectural style.
  3. The Domesday Book gives us a snapshot of the economy and people of medieval England and parts of Wales. The book is a census compiled in 1086 on the orders of William the Conqueror.  Thanks to this “Great Survey” we know who lived in England, where they lived and what property they owned.
  4. The Bayeux Tapestry is a beautiful work of art that tells the story of the battle. Its style is instantly recognizable and constantly imitated as in the opening credits of the movie “Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves.”  Recently a group of enthusiasts created a final scene showing William’s coronation, which is missing from the original tapestry. The new addition is called the Alderney Bayeux Tapestry and it’s gorgeous.  See for yourself at alderneybayeuxtapestry.com.

About Norma Shirk

Norma started her company, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor, to help employers create human resources policies for their employees and employee benefit programs that are appropriate to the employer’s size and budget. The goal is to have structure without bureaucracy. Visit Norma’s website: www.complianceriskadvisor.com/.

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

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by | October 11, 2016 · 5:00 am

The Other Side of the Couch – Are You Sleeping?

I slept.

For the past five nights I have slept through the night (with minor interruptions which did not lead to staying awake, tossing and turning, or a complete inability to go back to sleep at all).  I wake up refreshed.  I have energy during the day and don’t find myself wanting to nod off around 2 in the afternoon.  The need for a nap is gone.

This experience – the experience of normal sleep – is elusive for millions of people in this country, and indeed around the world.  Somehow the idea that sleep is a luxury has taken hold, and some people even pride themselves on how little sleep they “need”.  Many young people routinely pull “all-nighters” to study for exams, and social engagements for many millennials often don’t even begin until 10.  Many people believe that they can “catch up” on lost sleep by sleeping in on the weekend.

However, the real impact of lost sleep is a cumulative disaster.  Shift workers who are required to work at night, or worse, to change their shifts routinely, experience health-related illnesses at a significantly higher rate than the rest of the population.  Sleep experts recognize the essential process that sleep provides, which is a kind of sweeping of the brain, for lack of a better explanation.  When we sleep, our brains automatically use that time to clear the brain at a cellular level of elements that are unhealthy at a cellular level.  This has implications for many brain-related issues, and in fact may be significant in the problems with aging populations with dementia.  If sleep mechanisms stop working, it may be that toxins build up, causing damage that is unseen and invisible until a harmful process is far along.

Some of the basics of taking care of sleep involve steps that many people in our wired world may find challenging.  They include:

  1. Regular time to go to bed and wake up, even on the weekends
  2. Low or no light in the bedroom, and twilight light leading up to bedtime (an hour before)
  3. NO SCREENS an hour before bed, and no screens in the bedroom (sorry, TV addicts) – electronic devices emit a kind of light-wave that interferes with sleep processing
  4. No strenuous exercise at least two hours before bed

These basic steps make taking care of this basic need much more manageable.

Why am I excited about sleeping?  Because I haven’t!  It’s been a couple of months since I had surgery that made it difficult to breathe – the surgery was actually meant to help me breathe, but the recovery complicated that process.  These last few nights have shown me that the surgery did help, that I am close to fully recovered, and that sleep is going to be a lot easier!

Take it from me – sleep is a wonderful process that needs to be respected and preserved.  Do your level best to make it work as naturally as possible – your health depends on it.

About Susan Hammonds-White, EdD, LPC/MHSP:

Susan is a communications and relationship specialist, counselor, Imago Relationship Therapist, businesswoman, mother, and proud native Nashvillian. She has been in private practice for over 30 years. As she says, “I have the privilege of helping to mend broken hearts.”  Contact Susan at http://www.susanhammondswhite.com

Like what you’ve read? Feel free to share, but please… Give HerSavvy credit. Thanks!

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by | October 4, 2016 · 5:00 am

GETTING UNSTUCK

stuck

A couple of wise and savvy women gave me some advice not too long ago that has proven invaluable and I’d like to share it with all of you.  I presented the notion that, for me, it’s tough to decide on a path because choosing one direction always means saying “no,” to another.  And since I have many interests, I often feel stuck deciding which to pursue at any given moment.  But the advice these fab friends gave me has really helped me get “unstuck.”

The first piece of advice was very concrete, maybe a bit obvious but it had eluded me.  Make a list of choices and then just pick one.  The key is to give myself a timeline, six months, a year, whatever, to try something and see how it goes. The timeline helps me feel less panicky that I have to live with my plan forever and never have the chance to move on.  It also helps to alleviate the guilt I feel when I don’t complete something and gives me permission to change the plan.

The second piece of advice was more introspective, but nonetheless helpful.  For a creative type like myself, or for someone with lots of interests, choosing one thing (or two, or more) means living with loss.  Loss of the path not taken, of the possibilities not pursued.  Most people are okay with that type of loss, or just don’t see it as such.  For me, the fear of leaving something behind is paralyzing.  But allowing myself to feel the loss, to grieve the interests not pursued, actually helps keep my life in perspective.  Nobody can do everything she wants.  Whether because of lack of skill, talent, resources or opportunity, some dreams are just that: dreams that fuel our imagination and keep us excited about living.

So, how have I applied all of this sage advice?  As always, I am constantly bombarded by new and exciting ideas, new paths to consider.  Should I stay home and write?  Should I partner with a friend in a new business venture?  Should I find a more secure, stable job?  The list goes on.  But these days when my mind starts to whirl, I remember my muses and stop for a minute.  I put pen to paper to create my list of priorities, think about a timeline for each and contemplate what is a real possibility and what is merely a dream that fuels me.  I can give myself permission to take a chance, the time to keep some options open and also allow myself space to grieve the losses.

For now, I have chosen to both pursue a new business venture and continue my writing career.  For now.  Because as surely as the seasons are starting to change, so too will my interests change, and now I have some tools to work that through.  And by the way, I think my dream of singing on Broadway may just be a dream.  But…you never know…

About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Check it out at http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

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