Tag Archives: travel

Heading Out: Vacation Prep Blues


As I write this, I’m about to head out with my husband for a two-week vacation.  It’s the longest we’ve been away in years, and I am a bundle of stress.  The past several weeks I have been occupied with visits from my three adult children, something I enjoy but that also distracts me from the daily life I have constructed for myself.  So, my mind is most definitely not engaged in vacation prep.  Not only that but my youngest, who has been living with us for the last couple of months, has taken a job in another city and will be leaving just four days after we return.  I feel both excited for him and for my return to normalcy, but also somewhat sad to be missing out on some quality time during his last weeks at home.  Oy!  I am quite literally a mess of emotions.

I’ve written before about the pressure we women put on ourselves; the pressure to perform, the pressure to look great all the time, the pressure to succeed, to be perfect in every way.  For me, I add in the pressure to be the perfect mother for whatever stage my kids are in their development.  These days, as young adults just starting out, that takes the form of regular texts and phone calls for recipes, work advice, fashion input, roommate issues, financial planning, dating, the list goes on.  And of course, there is “Mom’s Moving Service,” which is always at the ready to help with apartment hunting, box schlepping and the assembly of Ikea furniture.

For the most part, it’s great fun to watch, and participate, as their adult lives take shape.  God knows I wish I’d had the same encouragement and support when I struck out on my own young adult life.  But it’s also physically and emotionally exhausting.  I walk the line between respecting their boundaries and giving input, all the while remembering their sweet little baby smiles, their sticky faces, their hurt cries and the tiny arms drawing me close to say goodnight.  Yep, for me it’s constant work to refocus the picture of them in mind as fully-grown adults.

And actually, they are all doing a great job of building their lives.  Each is on a different path with widely varying careers and lifestyles.  Each is financially self-sufficient and two of them have higher degrees.  This is not a brag on my kids, but the way, it’s me reassuring myself that they are all fine and well so that I can get on with my life and my vacation!

At this point, our bags are mostly packed and ready, save for the last-minute carry-on items, we’re checked into our flights and tonight our son will drop us off at the airport for our overnight transatlantic trip.  I’m hoping that somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, I’ll drift off to sleep (with the help of some Ambien and a glass of wine) and by the time I wake up I’ll be recovered from the “Kids’ Visit Hangover.”

As you read this, I’ll be arriving home, hopefully with some new stories to tell my children when I see them next, and a refocused perspective on who we all are in this world and where I intend to go next.  Here’s hoping…

P.S.  The recent rains have made my garden go crazy!  Enjoy some pictures of my sunflowers, tomatoes and squash!


About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  www.nashvillepilatescompany.com.  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com.  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

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Keeping up with Mileage


Tax deductions, we all need them, right? For many of us, miles driven for business are deductible on our tax returns. According to the IRS, beginning on Jan. 1, 2016, the standard mileage rates for the use of a car (also vans, pickups or panel trucks) will be 54 cents per mile for business miles driven, down from 57.5 cents for 2015. 19 cents per mile driven for medical or moving purposes, down from 23 cents for 2015.

An easier way to document miles is right here on our smartphone. I recently learned about this helpful app from The Rayna Corporation’s Lori Gonzalez (thank you). Lori seems to have a shortcut for just about any business task. It’s good to know people like her. The application, MILEIQ, downloadable from Google Play or The APP Store, has automatic drive detection; making it easy to capture every mile I drive – yes, automatically. Every drive can have a purpose; “a swipe is all it takes.” I will mark them as business, personal, medical, charity or any custom category I wish to label. I can log any additional details that will be needed for reporting mileage expenses to any specific job or simply mark for two categories: business and pleasure. Deducting mileage for my art business will be easy to prove. Since the IRS requires you keep a log when you are taking the deduction, there will be a lot less effort in documenting from now on.

Anything that makes life easier, and every dollar counts, right?

About Renee Bates

Renee is an artist focused on growing a newfound ability to express herself through oil painting, recently leaving her role as executive director of the non-profit, Greenways for Nashville. Renee is inspired by nature and enjoys hiking, birding, and the garden. She contributes to HerSavvy, a blog featuring writings from a group of well-informed women wishing to share their support and experience with others. Married to David Bates of Bates Nursery and Garden Center, enjoying flora and fauna is a family affair.

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Building a Bottomless Bucket List


This August I crossed one off the bucket list: swimming with dolphins.   Well, two actually, the second was riding a catamaran on the ocean.  I have wanted to sail again since I was eighteen, loving the exciting tipped on its side ride, tacking, and hearing the sound of the wind in the sails.  It was my cousin’s wooden sailboat at our local lake.  While the boat we were traveling on this day no longer sported the mast and white canvas, instead using engine power to traverse the surf, the excitement of negotiating the rolling waves was still there.  For snorkeling, I learned that big waves are not a big deal when you are in the deep water, as opposed to being beaten up with “the breakers” at the shoreline – on the water you just roll with it.  I did feel brave jumping into that water where big things live.  With flotation belt, mask, snorkel and fins, I was plenty well suited for braving this new world.

Our competent, ecologically respectful guide, Elizabeth, gave us thorough preparation and education about the dolphin’s feeding and rest cycles, and how they rest one side of their brain at a time, alternating between the sonar and analytical sides, as exhibited with closure of the opposing eye of the side of the brain which is asleep.  We learned how to visit in a low impact way and not chase or touch the docile and loving creatures.  A small group of three couples,  upon our first encounter we beheld about twenty dolphins as they played, rested, and lazily moved to and fro zigzagging the coast in their rhythmic movement, sometimes on the bottom, often on or near the top, in 40 to 100 feet of water.  We later noted in the car on the trip back to our hotel that each of us had been mesmerized by the Aurora Borealis-like shafts of light permeating down through the depths in glistening light patterns.  Adding to our pleasure were intensely warm water currents influenced by El Nino, followed by refreshing cool veins of sweet relief.  As an artist, I am looking more at how light reacts on objects, and the pieces of the shapes on those objects.   There was so much to see.

Hours later, I was still exhilarated with the excitement of it all, especially seeing the graceful dolphins in their home, and learning first hand about their loving, community nature.   As we moved from the snorkeling with dolphins site to the turtle site, the dolphins rode our bow, racing ahead as they are so adept at leading.  From the 2-week-old baby swimming against mom’s side, to the 4 teenagers “hanging loose” and swimming slowly, like teenagers do, we enjoyed every minute.  Others were exhibiting raucous, tail flapping fun, spinning, relaxing and mating.  It was nature at its best.  On the trip out we spotted sea turtles and flying fish.  On the way back to the dock, we stopped twice to swim with the turtles, getting good views of several adults together on the bottom coral.  I was at once surprised to be 5 feet away from a sea turtle as it emerged, so close I could smell its algae covered body or its breath; I’m not sure which.

Riding to and from the harbor was a great adventure on the high seas, better than a ride at Fair Park.  On the trampoline-like net across the front, I was holding on tight and getting splashed, rocking up, once airborne, and dropping back down again against the deep blue mountains of water as it splashed through the net.  It felt like we were at a rodeo.  I haven’t had that much fun in forever.

Extra special about this trip was getting to experience it with my soul mate, David, on our celebratory revisit, having married there on Oahu in 1985, one hour east and thirty years before that sun-filled day.

Next on the bucket list: getting up close to a humpback whale.  You will certainly hear about it as it happens.

Photo credit and company we explored with on Oahu: www.sailhawaii.com

About Renee Bates

Renee is an artist focused on growing a newfound ability to express herself through oil painting, recently leaving her role as executive director of the non-profit Greenways for Nashville to pursue art and product development.  Renee likes being in nature, hiking, birding, and working in the garden. Married to David Bates of Bates Nursery and Garden Center, a 3rd generation business begun in 1932. Renee admires the fact that it was begun by a savvy woman, Bessie Bates.  Renee’s art may be enjoyed from her website or followed on Facebook.

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In the Middle of Nowhere

Letchworth State ParkLetchworth State Park is in upstate New York in the middle of nowhere. It can only be reached via secondary roads from Rochester or Buffalo.  I first visited the park on a school field trip.

I love the park because I’m a history buff and there’s plenty of history in the park.  On our school trip we visited the pioneer and Seneca Indian museum and the restored Seneca Council House. Near the Council House we saw the statue of a truly remarkable woman named Mary Jemison.

Mary’s family emigrated from Ireland in the early 1700’s. After her family died in a frontier raid, a common occurrence in those days, she was adopted by the Seneca tribe. At the time of her adoption into the tribe Mary was about 15 years old. She spent the rest of her life as a member of the tribe and her descendants can still be found among them.

Mary farmed land that is now within the borders of the park.  Traces of her life and farm remain, including a log home built for one of her daughters. Mary is buried in the park near the land she used to farm.

Of course, not everyone cares about history as I do. So if history is not your thing, there’s plenty of natural beauty on display in the park.  The primary natural attraction is the waterfalls on the Genesee River.  The river is shallow but it narrows into a deep gorge that descends through a series of three waterfalls. At the lower falls, a stone bridge spans the river gorge allowing a wonderful view upstream of the middle falls.

If you ever find yourself in the middle of nowhere near Buffalo or Rochester, consider taking a side trip to Letchworth State Park. You can eat lunch at the Glen Iris Inn, formerly the home of William P. Letchworth who donated the park land. Then take a stroll to the nearby historical and natural sights in the park.  It’ll be worth the trip, I promise!

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