Sometimes I sit down to write and I’ve got nothing. My mind is constantly spinning, but unless I feel something in my gut, the words just don’t come. That appears to be the case today. This past weekend we turned the clocks back and I guess I’m feeling uninspired and sluggish. The view outside my window is actually lovely; blue sky, leaves finally turning coppery and softly fluttering in the breeze. But it’s 2:00pm and already it feels like late afternoon rather than a bit after lunchtime. Even Bentley, the labradoodle, feels it. He’s dozing on the chair in my office, tail twitching every now and then.
Every Fall it seems I experience this same sense of sadness when the clock changes. Farewell to summer, to my vegetable garden, to the abundant daylight hours. I know the coming weeks and months will be festive and fun, filled with holiday parties and celebrating a new year. But today I just feel down. Tonight, I will prepare the last of my beautiful summer eggplants and this weekend I will clean out the beds. The other day I picked the last of the bell peppers and jalapenos for the season. This year I planted a couple of beds with cool weather greens and they are doing well, but I already miss my fragrant tomatoes, the unruly squash and cucumbers.
This year’s time change has brought other changes, too. My daughter, newly returned from California, will soon be moving into her new condo. I’m happy for her, glad she’ll have a new place to call her own. But I’ll miss her comings and goings in my house. A friend recently joked with me that we just can’t get rid of the adult children, and it’s true. They cycle in and out as they transition from one thing to another. But honestly, I’m happy they know our arms and our doors are always open when they need us. Yes, it’s disrupting, but all things being equal, I’ll take this type of disruption any day of the week. The fridge is fully stocked, the washing machine runs constantly, but I’m enjoying this short-term visit with my parenting past.
The shadows are growing longer and it’s still just mid-afternoon. I know this feeling won’t last long. In a couple of days, I’ll be used to this new season and have more energy to face the darker months. But right now I’ll just watch the waning light outside my window and say a little farewell to summer.
About Barbara Dab
Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant. She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood. Check it out at www.nashvillepilatescompany.com. She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation. The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors. Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com. If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.
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