Monthly Archives: August 2019

Stop Saying These Words



We need to stop saying these words now!

“Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of…”   It’s cynical and hypocritical coming from the mouths of our politicians and community leaders who shrug their shoulders and say they can do nothing about the mass murders happening across our country.

If their thoughts and prayers were really with the families of the victims, they’d take steps to prevent more mass murders.  But they don’t.  They’d rather deny all responsibility with a meaningless phrase and bogus arguments like these.

Bogus argument #1: The gunman was mentally ill.

Each mass murder is followed by the NRA and their political puppets mouthing nonsense about the gunman being mentally ill.  If the NRA and their enablers at all levels of government truly believed this was true, they would expand funding for mental health coverage and treatment.  But they don’t.

Bogus argument #2: We’re protecting the 2nd Amendment

The 2nd Amendment says every citizen has the right to “bear arms”.  It doesn’t say that every citizen has the right to own an assault rifle that kills 9 and wounds 25 people in less than a minute.  It doesn’t say that we are prohibited from requiring waiting periods and background checks or banning some types of quasi-military rifles.

A recent survey showed 67% of Americans support banning assault rifles like those used in the recent mass murders. So it’s time to stop accepting the hypocrisy of every irresponsible politician and take action.

  1. Vote for candidates at every level of government who support laws that allow gun ownership while also protecting all of us. We need laws that require waiting periods and background checks.  Federal and local law enforcement databases need to be connected to make the checks meaningful.
  2. End gerrymandering. Our country is gridlocked due to “safe” seats at all levels of government. This undemocratic practice hands victory to politicians  of both major parties who are owned by special interests, like the NRA, which fund their election campaigns.  These politicians don’t represent or respect what most voters want.
  3. Reform our campaign finance laws. We need a public registry identifying every donor who contributes a minimum $100 to any political party, PAC, or candidate in any election.  If the donor is a business or special interest group, then we should know the names of their officers and largest shareholders/donors.  We (the voters) have a right to know who is contributing to the campaigns of politicians who mouth hypocritical, cynical nothings while shrugging their shoulders and voting for loose gun laws that enable mass murders.

If we don’t act now, the next meaningless phrase could be mouthed to our families.



About Norma Shirk

My company, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor, helps employers (with up to 50 employees) to create human resources policies and employee benefit programs that are appropriate to the employer’s size and budget. The goal is to help small companies grow by creating the necessary back office administrative structure while avoiding the dead weight of a bureaucracy.  To read my musings on the wacky world of human resources, see HR Compliance Jungle ( which alternates on Wednesday mornings with my  history blog, History By Norma, (available at To read my musings on a variety of topics, see my posts on Her Savvy (

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Exercising My Superpower


This past month has been eventful.  My husband and I celebrated a big anniversary with a Hawaiian vacation that included our three adult children.  The vacation was glorious, but traveling as a family of five adults is a challenge (although I’ll take the challenges over not being together any day of the week).  Added in was a recurrence of bursitis in my left arm that was painful and frustrating.  Our two-week sojourn also included a stay in Los Angeles, a drive up the coast to attend my niece’s wedding and a mad dash back to LAX for the return flight home.  And upon our return, our youngest son is now living with us while he attends graduate school.  Oh, and just before our trip, a leak in our upstairs HVAC resulted in drenched duct work and damage to the ceiling drywall.

I’m not complaining!  Well, actually, I’ve done a ton of complaining to my husband.  Thankfully he has very broad shoulders and has kept his cool.  Staying cool in the face of my emotional storms is one of his super powers.  And in the midst of the chaos, well maybe after some of it has passed, I try to remind myself how lucky I am to have a partner with truly superhuman patience.  In fact, sweetie, if you’re reading this (and I know you are), thank you.

And this week is my birthday, so there’s that.  I always feel a little melancholy around this time.  Every birthday since my parents passed is another reminder of what I’ve missed sharing with them.  I was so fortunate to have the kind of parents many kids long for.  They weren’t perfect by any means, but they were perfect for me.  They were my first teachers, my protectors and my biggest cheerleaders.  They loved me unconditionally and completely and they showed me how to do the same with my children.

Is there a lesson in all that has happened this past month?  I’m not sure.  Since last week, there have been three more mass shootings with little outrage coming from our nation’s lawmakers.  The erratic weather patterns around the world further highlight the threat to our planet.  And unstable and dangerous dictators in foreign countries threaten our nation’s democracy and safety.

One of my super powers is my ability to remain positive and optimistic in the face of life’s difficulties.  Right now, my powers aren’t as strong as they usually are.  But I will offer this: all of the current challenges we face are proof of our humanity.  What distinguishes us from other life forms and from machines is our resilience in the face of pain and tragedy and our ability to learn and grow from our mistakes and the misdeeds of others.  I am hopeful that our common humanity will give us the strength we all need to work together to find solutions and to honor our differences.  I believe it is our ability to love that elevates us and allows us to see the humanity in each other.

And when I feel really down, I head out to my summer garden and revel in nature’s creations and take pride in my accomplishments there.  This year, my sunflowers haven’t worked out as I’d like.  But I’ve had a bumper crop of squash, peppers and cucumbers.  Tomatoes are still going strong and I’m anxiously awaiting some eggplants to ripen.  More lessons learned.


About Barbara Dab

Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant.  She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood.  Check it out at  She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation.  The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors.  Visit  If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.

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