As I sit here writing this post, I am finally feeling more like myself than I have in a couple of weeks. Two weeks ago, after a lovely weekend getaway with my husband, I got hit with a terrible bout of the flu. I am not someone who picks up all sorts of little viruses from everyone I meet. When I get sick, I REALLY get sick. And this time was no different. I had the fever, body aches, upper respiratory congestion, all of it. And while my sweet husband tried valiantly to help with hot tea, soup and sympathy, there was pretty much nothing he could do to make me feel better. My daughter, god love her, even sent an order of chicken soup from Whole Foods, along with a massive box of saltines. And honestly, that was about the most helpful thing someone could do. Mostly I just lay in bed trying to get comfortable.
So why am I engaging in this self-pity? Well, this is the first time I’ve been sick while owning my business. And that changed everything for me. Much like a mom being sick while trying to care for small children, I had all the guilt and shame of not being able to care for my business “baby.” Thank goodness I have a partner who could shoulder some of my tasks and was patient while I convalesced. But honestly, no one could have been harder on me, than me. And while I tried, I really did, to carry out at least some of my duties, I could barely lift my head off the pillow. And as the week trudged on, I just kept beating myself up for not being able to do much of anything.
The second week of this flu, my fever broke and I felt less achy. But the weakness and exhaustion continued for several more days. I tried to do one big thing each day, and then spent the afternoon in bed. I even tried to work out a bit, take a Pilates lesson, anything to get my body moving. I haven’t felt that fatigued since I had mono as a teenager. One day, I met with my partner, then had coffee with another business contact, and proceeded to go home and fall asleep on the couch.
Okay, I’m whining, I know it. And while I’m also aware that my business can certainly survive a week or two of my absence, it was the unplanned nature of the absence. Both my partner and I take vacations from time to time. But those are planned for and expected. And of course, the randomness of getting sick also makes me feel out of control, and who likes that feeling?
So here I sit, feeling pretty normal except for a lingering cough, trying to figure out what I can learn from this situation. Of course with any luck, I won’t be sick again for awhile, but there are other unpredictable situations that come up in life. I guess for me, the biggest lesson is that it’s okay to be…human! Getting sick is part of being human. So is a family or pet emergency, a household repair or car breakdown. In short, living life brings unexpected situations, both good and difficult. Being a business owner surely complicates things, but if I’ve built a solid infrastructure, it can withstand these bumps in the road. And I’m pretty confident that if I’d been a bit kinder to myself, I may have recovered a little quicker, or at least I wouldn’t have felt quite as fraught with worry.
So, here’s to a healthier body and a calmer, more forgiving (of myself) spirit.
About Barbara Dab
Barbara Dab is a small business owner, journalist, broadcast radio personality, producer and award-winning public relations consultant. She is the proud owner of Nashville Pilates Company, a boutique Pilates studio in Nashville’s Wedgewood/Houston neighborhood. Check it out at www.nashvillepilatescompany.com. She is also the creator of The Peretz Project: Stories from the Shoah: Next Generation. The Peretz Project, named for her late father-in-law who was a Holocaust survivor, is collecting testimony from children of survivors. Visit http://www.theperetzproject.com. If you are, or someone you know is, the child of survivors of the Shoah, The Holocaust, and you would like to tell your story please leave a comment and Barbara will contact you.
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